She IS either having an affair or has a romantic interest in someone. I don't know what more proof you need.
First. Get a job. Go get a job. Not having a job lowers your self esteem. Whatever it takes to get one. Women don't respect men who don't work HARD and have a hard time having romantic feelings for men who sit home and lack motivation. Ironing and washing the clothes and vacuuming the carpet is great, but only if you balance it with MANLY things too. Don't be ashamed to be masculine. Women are attracted to masculine men.. Men who have emotional strength. Men who are confident. Men who stand up for themselves. Men who aren't afraid to show a woman that if you don't want to be with me, then fine, so be it, there are plenty of fish in the sea and I can and will be with someone who thinks I AM all that.... It is called BALANCE. I don't think turning into Mr. Mom is turning her on very much. Women respect a man who is masculine that KNOWS when and how to help her around the home, but don't respect a man who shows more feminine traits than masculine traits. BALANCE... You are out of balance. More masuline needed, less feminine right now.
Next. Stop initiating ANY contact with her. She needs to FEEL that you have had an awakening. You seem to wrongly assume that if you act happy when you see her that this will make you more attractive to her. You are making a mistake that many others on this site make. What you need to do with the "acting happy" routine, is the routine SHE is doing on you. It should be more of acting happy that you are FREE from her and all the drama. Happy to get OFF the phone. Happy to drop the kids off to her because you have other important things going on. Happy WHEN you answer the phone, and then when you realize it is her on the other end, suddenly toning the happiness down a notch and getting to the reason she called and THEN ending the call politely and quickly.
Go out and start golfing again. Quit punishing yourself by not doing something you ENJOY. You are only punishing yourself by NOT golfing. You think that this is a 180 by not golfing. She could care less either way. You have fallen for the typical WS excuses. She IS having an affair or is interested deeply in someone. Stop punishing yourself. Get back out and start golfing again. Start going out and partying. (do what she is doing)
She needs to think and feel that you have given up. She needs to see that you are now focused on having the time of your life. Throw the kids on her once in awhile. (like she does to you because she is focused on her little affair)
Don't return emails or calls right away. Sometimes don't return them at all. Turn off your phone when out......
Be evasive when she tries to spin what you are doing. Just agree with her view of things. (you may be right honey, I guess I am selfish sometimes)(and then end the call politely with no further comment)
I must say that you are coming across more feminine than masculine. I don't think that is very attractive to a woman...
Nutshell..
Get a job. Start golfing Get a life and start to party and have fun. Continue to take care of the children and be involved with them when you are with them. When you aren't with them, then be selfish and pursue fun, excitement and activities. Stop intiating any contact.
What you have been doing isn't and hasn't worked in the least.
