WAW1 - Anticipation

[markhaving probs]

Well, she arrived and was in her usual miserable mood. She presented me with the debt in question and I said I would talk to the tax office to see what I could do.

She then gave me some photographs from our family holiday last year and she said "I don't know why I am giving you these, but I'm good like that". I have looked at the photos and now wish I hadn't as I am now in floods of tears looking at my children laughing, us playing together on the beach, all the good times we had together and this year I will not be there. Is she deliberately trying to upset me,(which she has) or is she so far removed from emotions she just thought she was making a nice gesture to me.

She carried on about the cost of the holiday coming for her and the children as though it was my fault it was costing her so much. She also challenged me saying I won't take the children on holiday just like.....she then mentioned two other fathers who have not over the years.

If I had been in a job I would have booked something for me and the children, but because of this I cannot. I now feel if I can take them somewhere it will be because my W said I should and my anticipation strategy falls short. She also wanted to attack my current arrangements with the children and said I wasn't commited to them enough. I ignored all of this.

Finally, she told me she was seeing her lawyer next week to finalise the financial settlement and when I move out of the family home for good. By this stage, which was no longer than 10 minutes I had had enough of this negativity and brought the meeting to a close. At no stage did she cross the door.

I feel absolutely awful with the onslaught I have just encountered. It is clear she is still very angry and I wonder if she was expecting more of a reaction from me. If she is getting exactly what she wants, why is she like this. It feels like she has to keep attacking me all the time, even after 5 months.

I cannot see any chance of us ever getting back together as she has still not wavered or shown any warmth towards me in all this time, it is attack, attack, attack.