Have just woken up; mornings are always the hardest.
I have been hit by a few things this morning. I have carried so much hope and sense of possibility but things have turned so horribly wrong in my sitch.
I have always been a woman who believes in the commitment of marriage but how can I in my sitch.......where is the hope. I have no alternative but to believe, especially after we go through court on Thursday, that he will never come back; that he will never speak with me again except via email.
There is part of me that admits that I couldnt want a man who has done this to my family and to me. This man has
betrayed me as a wife and mother committed adultery abandoned me abandoned his D7 lied continuously for the last few months, except about how much he doesnt want to be married to me or have anything to do with me seen my mother go through her life savings in an attempt to try and help me and our D through his time as we have very little money and he has not paid any maintenance.
How can I respect him? Yet I am grieving the man that I married, who I love with all of my heart. Instead I find myself staring at the enemy and I am tormented by the heartache and the trauma that everyone that I love is going through.
Please help....I am in a sad place, in a place of bewilderment and exhaustion. I am trying so hard to keep going, to be the best mother that I can be, to be the responsible parent and be the secure stable presence in her life.
