New to this Community seeking advice

[JR09]

Hi. I am brand new to this forum and this is the very first time I post something. I came on here to seek advice for anyone willing to give any.

I have now been separated from my WAW for 11 months. She has our 3 boys as well. I've been able to see the boys (ages 11, 10 and 6) 3 times for the past 11 months. I do call them regularly about 2-3 times a week.

My wife left after I had a serious anger outburst. I've had a few of those ever since I returned from Iraq 5 years ago. My wife encouraged me to seek counseling but I always told her I was ok, and due to the stigma of seeking counseling in the military, I never went. But her leaving 11 months ago was my real wake up call. I've been going to counseling ever since, every single week without fail for the past 11 months. Then I discovered this site and DB/DR back in FEB 09. I've been applying the principles avidly. I used to beg, pursue etc. But not anymore. for some reason, my wife still wants me to call once a week on a specific day/time. So I kept that.

Our conversations have been at first very harsh, mainly from her. But as time went on, she seems to have softened to the point when she even displayed her emotions on the phone, and even apologized for at times being harsh. I kept DBing, never reacted to hurtful words from her, ended the conversations first, DBing all the way. My WAW also filed for D last Jan 09. It's now mid May 09, and nothing has happened. she mentioned it twice over the phone but in passing, never asking me to do anything about it or calling me to actively pursue it.

So here I am, 11 months later after she left. I read the posts each day to motivate myself and stay focused. I still go to counseling, adopted a great big dog to soften the loneliness, picked up the guitar as a new hobby, became more sociable with the neighbors, just trying to take care of myself, not giving up, not giving up hope that someday my WAW will reconcile and return.

What else can I do? I have been doing the LRT only so much of it because I wanted to remain consistent with calling my wife weekly as she wanted it. I did call and left a voicemail to wish her a happy mother's day, and sent a small card previously to do the same. Is it too much? Maybe so. I'm not sure.

Thanks for any input on what I need to continue/discontinue. This site is a lifesaver. Thank you for all of you out there who don't give up and motivate me to do the same.

JR09