Silver we are already divorced so she is his gf instead of ow, I am just in the habit of typing ow. He follows her around like a puppy and defends her to the core. He gets her what she wants and has started letting her answer his phone. He never didnt answer his on phone. I think he is so afraid she will not trust him, so he just lets her answer it. To me that shows he knows he knows he cant be trusted and is trying to prove otherwise to her. I never answered his phone unless he was in the shower or something. Not that he wouldnt let me although their were times I would look through his phone and he would get mad....wonder why, I was blind I guess. He did this with me sometimes. He would get a call and automatically show or tell me who it was. Does that show quilt to you?
Ok guys lets not get into a religion discussion because they are not pretty. Getting back to my sitch...;) I do believe that my xh is lost in love, lust or something. My son asked him to borrow 30 to buy me a mothers day gift, (which he didnt have to do but he wanted to), and my xh told him to come get it Sunday morning no problem. My son went Sunday but they were not home so my son called him Sunday evening and my xh told him he "didnt have the money". Now I find it hard to believe since he got paid 6 days ago. Why would he tell son that morning yes and then that evening no. I think the gf had something to do with this. I could be wrong but he switched his mind awful quick. He told son he didnt get paid until Thurs., when in fact he just got paid a few days ago. What is your all's take on this. Not that it matters for me, I hate that son worked up enough courage to ask only to be told yes and then NO. My son is afraid to ask him anything in fear of abandment, I believe. So it took courage for him to ask and he got disappointed. He said he immediately told his dad "thats ok forget it", in a nice tone. My aunt called me today and said son asked her for money. It just breaks my heart. He is so caught up with this woman. I have never seen him act so crazy. He is spending every dime he can get on her. Have any of you experienced this with your x's ow? Is this normal for them to go "crazy" over the other person?
Guys I cant help but ask questions, it is something new everyday. I am going on with my life. I am starting to enjoy life again. I am happy most days. I think I am doing good for being 7 months into this mess. You all may not think so, beacause when I post I only talk about xh, but I have a life, really I do. When I find the time, I am going to try and find a counselor.
ARRRGGGG!!! Renee, how many times do we have to tell you? I can tell you EXACTLY why he is doing what he is doing. He doesn't give a rat's arse about you, his son, or anyone else except HER!!! I'm sorry to be so blunt, but that is the bottom line! The sooner that you can get him out of your head, the better off you are going to be! He isn't going to change, his feelings toward you aren't going to change, and really you should stop worrying about what he does, thinks, or acts. Move forward with your own life!
Do u tell everyone this braveheart? or just me. Would you have told MWG that. She has waited over 4 years (I think). Would you have told YR that? I am just asking. Is my situation THAT different from everyone elses? Do you have fb or anything like that?
Do u tell everyone this braveheart? or just me. Would you have told MWG that. She has waited over 4 years (I think). Would you have told YR that? I am just asking. Is my situation THAT different from everyone elses? Do you have fb or anything like that?
I am pretty much a cynic when it comes to people comming home. Renee, I know that a few people do return, I have said it time and again, but most don't and won't. In your case your are Divorced and your XH is about to be remarried. Now if you wish to stand by and keep doing what you have been doing, by all means go right ahead! I am certain that if you do, you will have as much success as you have had up until this point. As for the examples of people that you have given at the top of your post, well I wouldn't strike up the band just yet, need to read the situations first.
Sun, I hope your son decides to get out and get a job. Why hasn't he done so yet? Since you are struggling financially, that would really help you out. Have you told him how much it would help? As for his dad giving him money for Mother's Day.... he is 18... and capable of making his own money... my 8yo didn't ask his dad, he worked and did chores for his grandma to earn money to buy me a gift and buy my lunch. I think you guys still need to have the mentality that you are getting NOTHING from your xh. I have a feeling my son knew that it would be fruitless to ask his dad, because he's broke.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Have any of you experienced this with your x's ow? Is this normal for them to go "crazy" over the other person?
They are in their own little world. I am experiencing something similiar right now. My stbxh is so far up the GF's butt that I don't know if he will ever see the light of day again. I have been dealing with this for some time now but it is getting worse.
As hard as it is for me to not step in and say something, I am letting my girls handle it the way they want.
Last week my stbxh called the day he was supposed to have the girls for visitation. He told me he didn't have the money to buy dinner for them. Yes, the GF was fixing HIM dinner and he could have very easily fixed a couple plates and taken them to the girls. (He still has his apartment until the end of the month, then he moves full time in with GF) The girls will not have anything to do with GF. He tells me that is too much trouble. WTH? It is too much trouble to feed his kids? I told him not to worry about it that the girls could stay home and I would feed them. So, they stayed home and didn't see him.
Yesterday I called him to find out the arrangements for this week as I had to go to the grocery store and he said unless they came to GF's house then he wouldn't be having them again. I told him no problem they were fine at home.
He is supposed to have them this weekend. They will spend each day with him but will probably come home to sleep. That is fine with me. The big problem I have right now is Saturday is his birthday. The girls wanted to take him out to dinner for his birthday. His response "Well, GF wanted to do something for me for my birthday so I don't know what I'm doing yet?" So you see, he is giving up another day with his kids to be with GF. Evidentally, she is more important.
He makes me so mad but there is nothing I can do about it. Just as you can't do anything about your xh. All we can do is be there for our kids when they need us. You need to let your son handle the situation with his father though. Don't step in. As much as it hurts us to watch our kids go thru this, we need to let them do it their own way.
T2SP, my son is so afraid to say anything to his dad. It is so sad, he will say, "its ok dad, never mind", he is so afraid his dad will get mad at him and not talk to him anymore. When I was calling my xh all the time in the beginning, my son stayed stressed out alot in fear of his dad taking things out on him. His dad was his HERO. This makes me so angry at xh, he has no idea how much his son loves him and cares about him.
It is sad the way your h is acting also. He is putting that woman before his children and one day he will pay for this. Its pitiful how they will do anything to please the ow. Sickening.
why are you so bitter if I may ask....I can sense it in ervery word you post in here.Renee knows the chances of his returning home not being good...but you answer her with such anger.unlike Y/R/ BND/ Snodderly...they dont sugar coat it, just not as mad as you..take it easy on her...she is doing the best she can....I have seen so many people ban you from you posting to them does that tell you anything about your demeaner??
T2SP, my son is so afraid to say anything to his dad. It is so sad, he will say, "its ok dad, never mind", he is so afraid his dad will get mad at him and not talk to him anymore. When I was calling my xh all the time in the beginning, my son stayed stressed out alot in fear of his dad taking things out on him. His dad was his HERO. This makes me so angry at xh, he has no idea how much his son loves him and cares about him.
It is sad the way your h is acting also. He is putting that woman before his children and one day he will pay for this. Its pitiful how they will do anything to please the ow. Sickening.
Give your son time to adjust to everything. My girls were the same way. (they are 15 and 18 years old) In the beginning I was the one who had to listen to them complain and tell me how they felt (which was ok). I tried telling them to open up to their dad but they wouldn't. Same as your son, fear of their father getting mad at them. It took them a couple of years to finally stand up for themselves. Right now, they don't care if he gets mad or not. They just tell him like it is. I am proud of them for doing this.
My oldest told her father that he could do better than his girlfriend. I about fell on the floor when she told me this. I found it amusing.
All we can do is be there for our children. As they grow up and get married and have their own families, they will understand all we have gone thru to try and save them from the heartache. We will be the ones they respect. One day our exes will realize all they have lost. By then though, we will have moved on fully and be living wonderful lives.
We will be the ones who come out on top in the end.
why are you so bitter if I may ask....I can sense it in ervery word you post in here.Renee knows the chances of his returning home not being good...but you answer her with such anger.unlike Y/R/ BND/ Snodderly...they dont sugar coat it, just not as mad as you..take it easy on her...she is doing the best she can....I have seen so many people ban you from you posting to them does that tell you anything about your demeaner??
Sorry that you feel that way, but I can assure you that I am far from angry or bitter, in fact life for me is much better than its been in many years. Why is it you may ask? Its simple, I decided to move on with my life. I wasn't a lot different than many people here, certainly not to the extremes, but I was scared, worried, didn't know what to do, etc. I just decided that life was too short to waste it on someone who didn't care about me or my kids. I think many times people pay too much attention to how I say things rather than what I say. Many on here just don't seem to get the secret of this. When you move on with your life, you have a much better chance of your spouse returning if that is what you want, if not, well you are going to be a much better person in any case. I can guarantee you one sure way of not having either, laying around and speculating, obsessing, thinking about your EX 24/7. If you do that, I can check back in 10 years and you will be doing the same thing then as you are now. Unfortunately we live in a feel good society who would rather have someone take a nice tact, downplay things, and worry about how someone feels as opposed to being honest. I do realize that I am a bit more blunt about my thoughts and opinions than most on here, but that doesn't make me any less caring about people. I have been around here for a good while now, not as long as Snodderly or some of the others, but long enough to see many sit for years and wait for something that will never happen and waste thier lives in the process. You have no idea how sad that is and how much that breaks my heart for these people. Anyway, my demeaner is the way it is, might not be pleasing to some, but I am honest about my thoughts and feelings, so I sleep good at night. As far as me being "banned" from postings on particular threads, well no one here has that authority except moderators. I think its sad that some individuals try to censor what others say because they have a different view. I think we need to be careful about that, I certainly don't agree with the opinions of a lot of people on here, but I never try to discourage them from saying what they like. If we have a society full of people who all believe and say the same things, we have a great danger to deal with. I wish we could learn from our past mistakes as a people though history.
