Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Well it was an interesting weekend. This was the first weekend that the kids would be with my W via temp court orders. D8 and S5 had been wanting to spend Friday night with me. This was my fault, I should have asked the W if it was ok, since I was going to see them on Saturday for S5's tee ball game. So the D8 told W she wanted to spend th enight and W told her no. D8 was really upset, she called me and I tried to tell her it was going to be ok. That it was just a few nights and I would see her soon. Then she got mad at W and said she doesn't care anymore. I asked her to give the phone to W. She did and we talked a little but she was upset with me.
As usual, the W had been in a good mood all week long. She got upset because I wasn't going to pay my half of the tuition. They put late notices in the kids cubbies on Wednesdays. According to the temp orders, I'm supposed to pay her child support and they are supposed to take it out of my check on 05/15 and 05/29. I saw an L and she told me not to pay the tuition, that she is getting child support and its on her now.
So W waits till this past Friday to call me and ask about tuition. I told her what the L said and she blew and said thanks for the heads up and hung up on me. I tried calling her back and it went to voice mail. That's why she got mad at me over money.
So when we spoke later that night, she was very upset. And when I asked her if it would be ok if D8 spent the night, she said no this is my weekend. I listened to her, didn't get upset but staye dfirm and stressed that I understood that it was her weekend. but the kids do ont understand, they really wanted to come over. And I also told her that D8, when pushed, shuts down and pushes away from people. When I spoke to D8, she was very upset and crying, saying I don't care anymore, I don't care anymore. So when I tried to talk to W about it, she said save it for the court room. I said ok and she hung up.
On Saturday, we went to S5's game and the girls stood right by me the whole time. After the game, I told W that they wanted to shopping for Mother's Day. She left with S5 and I took the girls. We went to lunch and then bought W a gift certificate. We then headed to a park and we were chasing each other, playing hide and go seek. Then we went walking on a nature trail. At 2PM, W called and met us at the park. She stayed until 330, we played soccer, even the W, and had lots of fun. We were all laughing and having fun. D10 wanted me to go skating with them, I told her its mom's choice and her weekend. As they were leaving, D10 told me mom said I can't go with them. I said it will be ok. D8 heard W tell D11 I couldn't go with them and the tears started rolling. I went to my Jeep, gave gift certificate to D10 and told her to take mom to lunch tomorrow. She said ok, agve me a kiss. Then W rolled down window and asked me if I wanted to go skating with them. I asked her if she was sure, she said yes. We went to the house, dropped off my Jeep and drove with them. W then said if you're ok with it, let's all go to dinner. I said ok. So I went skating with the kids and W. We were all holding hands and I was a nervouos wreck. I thought I was going to fall on my butt. I got the hang of skating and W turns to me and says, you never came out skating with us before. Why now? I just smiled and said that I was having fun. Me and S5 got a little tired, sat off to the side and watched everyone else. The girls came over to me to and asked if I was ok. I told them yes and to go skatingw ith mom. Every time they came over to me, I made sure they spent the majority of the time with mom. Afterwards she asked about dinner and I said ok. We all had a great time, we talked about the kids, D10's upcoming party and our work. After that, we went to buy more stuff for the party and then she drove me home. S5 said he was staying with me and D8 started crying. I told her it's ok. You all are going to have a girls night. It will be fun. S5 and I had fun playing video games and when he fell asleep, I watched Role Models - HILARIOUS! Went to church, sat with W and kids. I came into work and W was sending me pictures of the kdis putting on funny sunglasses. I left work, snet her a etxt message that I was stopping by to give her some of D8's project info. I got to her apt and W looked like crap. She was hunched over and told me to come in, she was going to puke. I came in, started getting D8's project together and then offered to watch the kids while she got rest. She said ok, then laid on the couch and we started talking and laughing about S5 and the movie Role Models. I went out and bought dinner, brought it back and stopped and got W some Won Ton soup. She liked the soup and had been craving it.
It was getting late so I started to get S5 ready to leave with me and W said D8 could go with me too. She was so excited. I told her thanks for the company and she thanked me too. It was the first time, I saw her smile and it was sincere.
Today, I kept D10 home. She had a fever and told her to get meds last night. W gave her meds this AM. But she looekd awful. I called W and told her. She came by the house later today and picked up D10 and S5. She commnented aboutnthe stairs I'm re-doing. I told her that I just had a wild hair and wanted to do something different. She said that the kdis said dad was crazy, he put up a ceiling fan, and then ripped up the carpet. But I know it was her thinking it, she said the stairs looked nice. I told her thank you. She asked why and I said why not.
Sounds like you had a good weekend, jag! That is awesome. Even your W is seeing a new side of you. Keep doing what you are doing and you and your kids are going to be just fine.
Me40 WAW37 M18 T20 S18,14 D13 EA Bomb 6/08 Sep 11/20/08 Ret 08/09 Sep/Filed 11/09
Sounds like you are doing a good job of DBing. She may throw court in your face. But she is obviously noticing a different you.
Its amazing how they make more, and want more out of us, but want a D. Truly funny. I'm dealing with the same thing now.
Keep doing what your lawyer tells you.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
Sounds like a great weekend Jag. I am glad the W is noticing the positive things you're doing in your life.... but most of all glad you're enjoying them for yourself. Hope you have a great week.
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
She brought D10 over yesterday knowing that she had a fever. I kept her home. Today she drops her off and says she needs to stay home, she said there is no way she can go to school today. So I see her and she lookes fine. But I didn't argue the point.
I started finishing up the stairs, cut the backyard and I also had to go down to D8's school. She got into some trouble.
W calls in the afternoon and hears S5 in the background. W asks D10 to speak to me. She starts to talk down to me telling me that she told me he wasn't to stay at th ehouse, and why did D10 eat pizza rolls for lunch and S5 needs to be in daycare because he has a pre-k graduation coming up and she has to pay the tuition all by herself.
Well duh, your getting child support now. This is what you wanted. Anyway, she acted all high and mighty and hung up on me. I called her back and got voice mail. I told her that I did not appreciate her tone, S5 was with me all morning, never played or came near D10. I know how to care for my children, been doing it for 10 years and now you're questioning me.
Now she calls again and baits me. I fell for it. She made a smart a$$ comment and hung. I called and she turned the tables on me as if to say why are you bothering me now. ARE YOU F'EN KIDDING ME! She called and started the damn argument with me. She got upset because I wouldn't tell her that who had been breaking into out garage. I told her that it was none of hern business anymore and she got ticked.
