Still getting nowhere fast....

[Bridgestone]

My H texted me today and was still saying the same things of going to a MC and dropping the divorce. I DID NOT ANSWER!!!

GOOD FOR YOU!!

I am so proud of myself.

You should be.. strength & honor

Since I did not answer him then he started texting asking me a bunch of questions about what i did ...

see.. isn't it so much easier to 'deal with it' when you know it's coming??

prior planning prevents problems.. I leave my phone on silent or even just shut it off, especially if I konw my kids are safe & I'm not worried about missing a call about them.

and his texts continued and you could tell he was was getting more and more upset.

uh-huh... not your problem he was upset... let him be upset all he wants.. not your problem...you don't have to 'make it better'

I will be contacting a MC for myself. I was thinking about going to the same one that he is going to but to do it on my own time and but not with him so that the MC will hear both sides and will be able to better help me though this. Also that the MC can see what I am dealing with in my H and that maybe the MC can give me better advice than if I go to an IC that only hears my side of it.

my only advice.. is go to someone who understands emotional abuse & you are comfortable with.. ask them directly in the first meeting what their experience is in counseling women who have been in & have left abusive relationships and how they handle it..not all counselors view 'emotional abuse' as damaging... trust me on this one too... some will try & convince you that you should have just tried harder to meet the abusers needs... remember the abuser is a 'smooth-talker' they can sell ice to Canadians... so even if you are going to the same one, he may be smooth talking them before they see you...find someone you click with, even if it takes 2 or 3 different ones. You don't need to convince his IC of your side of the story.

I feel better today that I have stood up for myself and I am trying set my own path.

Good for you!! It is empowering isn't it??
It gets easier & easier, but be prepared for backslides.. they pop up when you least expect them.

I do understand that I will get in trouble if I continue to talk to him. I am trying hard to stop.

Maybe remind him he is also in contempt with each text message, phone call etc. and any further attempts at communicating with you will be viewed as violations of the order. Have you spoken to your lawyer, does he have one? All communication should go between them.

I know it's hard to stop... come here & vent or call a friend when you want to respond. He wants your attention, each time you respond you reward him & he comes back for more.

you can do this.. you are amazing me with your strength. Keep it up!
Bridge