Thanks K.. I look forward to reading it! Yep, we'll see.
Its unnerved me a bit him calling. He can chat to me about the meadow out the back of his house and how he has been gardening there all day, with the view of the coast down the hill and the 16th C inn by the beach that he walked down to last night and the band he heard.. and all I am thinking is... should have been OUR weekend. Thats what we moved here for. And I still havent seen where he lives of course.
I actually feel MORE nervous now he is no longer with Helen, but still hasnt said he wants to try again. I inagine he will enjoy the freedom and start to feel differently about things.. it will be easier to tell when I see him next, as always. I never could tell over the phone as we only ever do this chit chat thing.
The good news is, I told him I had got two viewings booked on our house, which we are renting out again and he was super pleased about that.. crazy man! we have been apart 18 months !!!
Now comes the hard part for you - being patient and letting him come to you. I can't imagine how difficult that would be, but it is critical for you to figure out how to do it.
With some good fortune, we may be seeing your thread in "piecing" soon. That would be nice.
Thanks T... Wow I had another full on day, this art lark is exhausting ! And expensive...
It IS harder now that he is single I have noticed. Before, I didnt expect to hear from him at all, and I could assume if he didnt contact me, it was becuase he was with her. Now, if I dont hear from him all week, I would know it wasnt because of her, so I would be then feeling LESS confident and think.. why isnt he contacting me!? I know he needs time to get over her.. but then, after 18 months apart, an 8 month R with someone else and the realisation that he loves me and I am his soulmate and going as far as to tell several friends that, down here and back home.. why WOULDNT he want to see me at the earliest opportunity??
I'm not sure if I should doanything now to encourage him.. give him the green light as Kalni said? Or, do nothing? I have one DB session left, so maybe its time to call Jody for the last time.
I have promised to tell him how the viewings go tommorow on our house for rent anyway, so I guess I should... phone him !? I havent phoned him since maybe last October.
Just got to keep on keeping on for a few weeks. I am as busy as a man with 2 heads anyway!
Now comes the hard part for you - being patient and letting him come to you. I can't imagine how difficult that would be, but it is critical for you to figure out how to do it.
He is going to need far more than a few days or a week Ali, come on you know that. Use your session, don't fall through impatience at the last hurdle. Phone him about viewing, be chatty, but not too much, keep it light. Let him suggest to meet or not. No pressure, wistful sighs or any hint that you are waiting for him to come back now he is not with Helen. He needs time to grieve this relationship however ill suited it was, it happened and he obviously felt something for her. Put all your creativity into art work and not imaginings, the P word and then some.
It's going to take him a while, most likely. Look at it this way.... there was a good bit of time between when he left you and got together with her. It might not be as long this time, since he knows you, but it will take some time.
I think that for him it is a good thing, and probably for you, too. You want him to be over it, and detached from it. You don't want to be part of the drama.
Give him time sweetie. He needs to come to you feeling better about himself. It'll take his feelings a while to recover from this week. Give him a chance to get more centered so he can feel up to interacting with other people more. You are a hard one for him because even though he knows you are his friend, you were also more. That makes it more awkward.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Hey everyone, thanks. Yes Naej, I know he needs more time (although I cant imagine waiting around, it isnt how I would behave).. but I was just meant I am finding it harder, strangely, now that he is single.
I'm very tired. Working hard on my last 21/2 weeks of college and also, I have been organising viewings on our house back home. He did say to let him know what had happened and thanked me for doing it, but I strangely dont feel like ringing him.
hey Jeff, Michelle. I know you ar right! but if it were me (and I was kind of in his shoes once).. as soon as I "got it" I would be inviting him over, or out for a drink. I wouldnt waste any more time, I would want to make my move and especially because I missed him. But me and him are not alike. He is brian the snail !!
Or maybe he is still not decided about me, despite finishing with her. He did say to MF back home, that he was worried things would go back to how they were. But then MF told BMF and W, J, last week that me and ex would be getting back together any day now.. and BMF didnt disagree, he just smiled knowingly.
Sigh ! Back to waiting then... (and making cabinets for space trumpets)
