I could write ditto to EVERYTHING breakaway said..
he is manipulating you to get you back under his control.
He needs to work on him before MC can work.. You need to work on you before MC can work..
Keep the order in place..quit responding to him... technically,if it is a no-contact order, given Iowa code you are both violating it & you BOTH could be placed in contempt of court. I know you don't want that! You want the courts to take your request for this order seriously when it comes time to settle this divorce.
It's hard to do.. very, very hard.. I've been there done that.. I know.
We told you he will do ANYTHING to get his 'illusion' of you back under his control... flowers, promises, cry, beg, plead, text...seems like he has done just that..
It's script... they all do & say those things.
Be strong, keep your head up & keep moving foward, feelings pass...there is a time to be logical.. this is it.
Abusers & serial adulterers take months & months & months of individual counseling to change behavior.. I doubt he has 'changed' in the time you have had the restraining order.
I'll suggest again to the book "love without hurt" by Stosny & read about why MC with an abuser is NOT a good idea & can hurt your relationship even more.
PLEASE.. get yourself into IC to work on your self-esteem, vent your anger & resentment, get advice, etc.... I think that is an EXCELLENT idea you had.
Peace & strength Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
