Well, I'm pretty sure doesn't DR recommend that it's ok for you to get intimate with your WAS? I also think it's supposed to just come down to what works. If after a period of time of ML with your H, if your sitch doesn't improve or it keeps yo-yoing and you're not happy with your results, then you should stop ML and see how that works. I think the main theory of DR is to do what works.... I think if he continues to live with OW at some point, you should try something different though. I mean otherwise you're letting him cake-eat long-term and I don't think that's good.
Don't beat yourself up. I see DBing as a process, 2 steps forward 1 step back. No one's perfect at this. As my D9 likes to say, just do your best.
