I am not saying what you will do is right or wrong. When I first found out about my H's affair (that he still denies) I almost sent an email to the OWs boss to let her know. Thank God I didnt, cause it wouldnt do anything in the long run. I did expose the affair, to H's father, my parents, his family, our friends... I never told my kids cause they wouldnt understand, they were 5 & 6 at the time.
I just wanted to make you think -again- where will it bring you, what results do you wish to have and prepare for results you may not like.
OK, regarding her career, sorry I didnt know. I thought she would get discharged or something. I guess not to be promoted is not a very high price to pay. Consequences are part of the game.
AFWAW, I stronly believe that "a wake up call" of this kind will only have an effect on their R, IF there are other issues between them, you dont know about. Maybe the fact that he is "cheating" on her is one for her. Maybe he will show his true colors and she will realise he isnt worth it.
It's a risk you are taking because the other side of it is that their dirty little affair gets a romantic boost of "two lovers fighting for their true love" crap that she may make up in her mind to hold on to it. I dont know if you understand what I am trying to say.
Since you have already decided to do it, if it matters at all, I want to state my support to you. I hope she manages to see thru her anger and realise it's just you fighting over your M and not you punishing her. My only advice at this point, is to try to stay calm and be prepared for her reactions.
This is a long rollercoaster ride. For all of us. Patience is the key to come out of it and still be sane. Even if she does get the wake up call, embrace yourself because it will take time to get to other side. Whatever that will end up being for you. K
