Thanks for the insight pearl! That's some good info that I will keep for later though, like you said. In our case, it's something that crept up on us. We used to be ML ~3 times a week, which was satisfying both of us I believe. Then it started tapering off and I had to do more and more of the initiating. I think her meds played some role in that, so maybe it will correct itself with time since she's off it?
Well, didn't get to go to the movies. One of our boys got sick, so we didn't want to leave him with a sitter. We'll do something next week tho. Next Tue is our anniversary. I want to do something, but not go overboard of course, so it will be a small gift and a card. And maybe we will go out to eat?
We are spending Mother's day together and we'll have brunch with her parents. And we are having friends over on Sat night. That's it folks (for now).
Had a good weekend! Sat I had invited some a couple over for dinner (good friends of us) and also invited my W to join. She came and we all had a great time. Our friends know about our sitch, so things weren't awkward. They just love us both and hope we work things out. W sold one of my photographs in her shop on Sat and when she walked in, she gave me $30 and said "That's for last night! Thanks!" *wink* *wink*. Not sure how to take that, but not giving that too much thought. I cooked a great meal that everybody was impressed with. When everybody was leaving (incl. W), W walks up to me, hugs me and kisses me on the lips. I have to say I didn't expect that, but it was nice!
Yesterday, I got her a card, a nice small gift and flowers for Mother's day. We had a brunch with her parents, then went to see a movie with the boys. After that, we walked around the mall and had a good time. She came over to let me smell some incense and other fragrant oils with suggestive names in this one shop. Again, not sure how to take that, but took with humor. We all had fun as a family. On the way back home, she thanked me for a nice day.
Seems like she's enjoying spending time as family a a little more each time we do that. Maybe our week vacation to Disney at the end of the month will consolidate that feeling.
Tomorrow is our anniversary. I got her a small gift and flowers, but I don't know yet when I will get to give them to her as we might not see each other that day. We'll see.
Sam, I'm so happy to hear about your weekend! Sounds like fun and you are taking it all in stride. I think her friendly, flirty demeanor is a good sign and your family trip will be a good time for everyone.
Since you've already gotten her the anniversary flowers and gift I would recommend finding a way to get them to her tomorrow, even if it's just dropping them off without seeing her. I think she would really appreciate it and it would make you feel good knowing that you recognized the day.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
So today, our anniversary: W had talked about taking the boys to their swimming lesson today instead of me and asking me to pick them up on Wed instead. That would have meant that I would not see her at all today. I put the flowers and gift on the island in the kitchen in the morning just in case she would stop by. From work, I called her cell which she did not answer, so I left a message wishing happy anniversary and that I would really like to take the boys to swimming and that I can still pick them up tomorrow from school also. Didn't hear back anything for a while. While I was on a bike ride during lunch, she texted me saying she dropped off the boys' swim stuff at the house and some incense she had bought for me. I saw the text 45 min after she sent it, when I got back from my ride. Went back up to the office before I would reply, another text comes in. Maybe she can leave a little earlier from work so we can all go out to eat together? Together with the 1st text, I assume she's gotten the voicemail. I text back that sounds great! She texts that she will let me know when she's leaving work. We text about some other stuff after that.
After we get back from the pool, W calls and says she's had to stay later at work and she's picking up some chinese and what would I like. She gets to the house and I give her the flowers and gift. She seems happy and hugs me, then she says at least she got me incense and some good food. Later, it turns out she never got my voicemail, well, probably got it but didn't listen to it. She said she missed a bunch of calls and hadn't listened to the messages yet.
It's just so easy to feel dissappointed after some good things happen. I just want it to continue and start expecting things. And then, it's again a one way street... It took me a couple of hours after she had left to get over the feeling of dissappointment, followed by anger... etc... you all know the drill! I did not let any of these frustrations get the better of me, but I had to really concentrate. Now, I am back to my normal self, just not expecting anything out of the ordinary. We do have a concert planned on Friday and I have a saling regatta this weekend that I am racing with a new sailing buddy I met a couple of months ago!
Calming down and thinking things over a little bit made me realize a few things that I hadn't mentioned in my previous post.
The thing that made my PMA take a nose-dive yesterday was the comment she made about the fortune cookie. It said "You will have a romantic encounter soon!" and her comment was that her "romantic encounter" needed new batteries, so maybe she should go get some. In hindsight that's maybe not so bad, thinking about people on here that have to deal with OM's taking care of their W's, but it bothered me. Couldn't help but think you have a perfectly loving husband that would LOVE to take care of that if you will let him! Thinking back to pearl's comment earlier about her friendly, flirty behavior... Maybe this is just more of that... just making a joke...
Later something else bothered me. I told her our friends that live down the street invited us to dinner on Sun. She said she couldn't because she had a dinner to go to on Sun that she found out about a couple of days ago and that she didn't "need" to be there at our friends house. So I said maybe I'll just take the boys and go, which is what I have decided I will do. I guess it bothers me (and it shouldn't after all this time) that she keeps going to these dinners without me, even more so since I know most of the people there, not as well as her, but I do know them. Don't they think it's strange for her to be there alone? I guess not, since they don't ask me to be there.... Well, to be honest, I do not know the people that are organizing the dinner, so...
Just had to vent that out. I know better than to get my hopes up, but it's a lot harder now that some things seem to be improving. Just need to get over it and go back to basics! Feel better now!
I totally understand. You think things are going along well and you're getting somewhere then bam, something comes along and knocks you back a few steps. Sigh.
Try to be glad that your W is turning to a battery powered friend and not OM and put the comment on the shelf with all the others.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
Thanks pearl! I do feel better today. The more I think about it, the more I really think she was just making a joke. And I should just take it as that. It wasn't intended to hurt, I just took it that way. Just have to focus on the good days we've just had and carry on with the basics!
The other positive thing I didn't mention earlier is that the text she sent proposing we go out to dinner I assumed was in response to my voicemail. Turned out in the end, she never noticed it was there or listened to it, so that was purely her incentive.
Last night, got another little text from her making a little inside joke we have. Made me smile.
It's strange, how I am feeling right now. I guess I am really starting to realize how you must feel pearl. Some positives happen and then you get all destabilized. I was feeling all emotionally strong, independent with a good PMA and now I have these unsure spells....
I think I did a good job not letting any of these feelings transpire to W, but it was hard. I guess this is when the WAS takes a few steps closer, and you have to take a few steps back to keep the detachment going a little longer. Working on it!
Missed my workout today because we had a lunch for a coworker that's getting married this Sat. And that usually gives me a good PMA boost.
