The adventure continues--the saga

[AFWAW]

I repeat one more time...are you secure with money and able to continue an acceptable lifestyle with you and your daughter when your W refuses to help, and she will.

Yes, I think so.

Did you use your VA entitlement? If so and her name is on the loan you may be able to get a streamline at a lower interest rate in your name only...depending on what kind of rate you originally got...now is not a good time to be forced into a sale with thousands in loss...something to think about

Already tried it, I can afford it by myself at this point.

I wonder sometimes what is wrong with her and her attitiude...a mother, SNCO(close to retirement and E8/9 sounds possible), less than 5 years to retirement at 44ish yrs old, seems to not care who knows about it (and I agree with your gut...your CC probably has heard something and you and your W are going to be shocked on how many people know about her affairs, it is never a secret onbase and many people still live Core Values and the oath taken for SNCOs and are going to be very upset with her...for her to be so blatent about it to her co-workers is foolish.

Me too, we'll see what happens I guess.

The OM doesn't sound to smart either...did you look on global to confirm the name your daughter gave you from the computer game?

I looked and couldn't find it. I look again later.

I hesitate to even ask as I think this is just an easy out but has she had mental issues before, mid-life crisis, fear of turning 40, etc...FTR, if she starts comign up with BPD or other illness issues I would not be surprised although I would verify this myself.

She has been on anti-depressants for years now.

The conversation with your daughter about her boyfriend was as inappropriate as it gets

Absolutely correct, this was the straw that broke the camel's back for me!

Exposure - do not give your wife any warning, do not tell her if she doesn't end the affair you will tell your/her CC. She already knows that and has repeatedly demonstrated that she doesn't care.

I won't, although at this point I am seething w/ rage. I worked out super hard this morning and it did nothing, absolutely nothing to suppress my anger. I kept wondering if OM was in the gym watching me. I know he goes there, wffe has confirmed that to me.

I think you really let this go on to far with no consequence...if it continues much longer neither one of you will ever be able to repair the hurt that is going to happen. Do not let your pride prevent you from forgiving her but that doesn't mean you turn into a wuss either. Only you will know when it is over.

I do too, but I wanted to believe that she was willing to try and make this work. I see now that she was only cake eating and trying to appease me so I would not do something vindictive. I'm pretty sure it's over at this point in time.

do not expect this to be over instantly and for her to come running home to you crying and begging for forgiveness.

Ok, this made me laugh. My wife is probably the most angry person on the face of the planet and DON'T expect her to come home crying and begging for forgiveness ever!

Get your daughter a cellphone to talk to her mother.

She already has one and I won't be answering the home phone when it is her from now on and won't be available to talk w/ her.

What is your plan for when she comes to the house to chat, p/u daughter, p/u her stuff (box it for her to p/u, or have her do it while you and your daughter are out (decide on whats what beforehand or have your daughter go out with friends)

D will be waiting outside the house from now on. I will box the rest of the stuff up and ask her if she wants it in an email.

I don't have any questions at this point. I am trying to calm down still and frankly having a difficult time in doing so. I still cannot believe my life has come to this. I cannot my wife did this to us.