Still struggling to "Get my mojo back" sexually, however. I don't mean in the actual act - I mean standing up, being open that I am a sexual being, openly desiring my W, confidently flirting, etc. My main confusion / barrier here is the dichotomy between "Be strong, open, and self confident" and "Don't pursue, no pressure"
Quoted without comment but with much concurrence. 10-freakin'-4.
(Apropos of nothing, everyone on the boards seems to be gettin' jiggy wit' the mojo these days! I'd love to see that in the next edition of MWD's book -- Divorce Busting Technique #8 -- get yer mojo back! LOL)
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I convinced myself that pretending to be asexual and just allowing my W to lead at her own pace was not being true to myself.
Hooah. As the man from Stratford-upon-Avon wrote, "This above all: to thine own self be true; And it must follow, as the night the day; Thou canst not then be false to any man."
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I was angry that for years (3+?) I had not gotten what I needed out of the R. I was angry that my W had emotionally pulled away (abandoned me?) and I recalled all of the slights and petty blows that I had felt from her over those years. I was angry at the pain that she had inflicted over me through the EA, and I was especially angry that I was the one doing all of the work to try to fix the R and that she seemed unwilling to put any real effort into it right now.
Yes, me likey. Me likey verrry much. Own it, brother.
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How can I be strong, sexual, and "Own the sex and romance department" of our R, while still not pressuring her?
I think you answered your own question, man -- last night.
Mama got a taste of sugar, baby!
As my DB Coach said, after a successful interaction, back waaaaaayyyyyy off the next day. Don't cloud WAW's thinking. She's going to feel like she's losing control, and control is what WAW wants above all else.
Let it ride. Let her think on it. Let her remember it. Let her smile to herself in her private moments.
