The decision to file KerryK...came after '3 names'. There was no trust and my STBXW was NOT staying home trying to figure our marriage out...she was seeing men. I had told her that doing that was a dealbreaker for me. When she started 'googling' the men on the PC...I had enough.
The decisions I made I will have to live with. Two things kicked my W off the edge: -filing for full custody -being honest with the law guardian about the events of the prior two years...that made me a "liar, vile and disgusting"
Although those 2 choices have made my life miserable, I am not sure that I would go back and change it. At the time, my STBXW was unstable, on 3 meds and it was the right choice to make. Lying to the law guardian as to why I filed for full custody....well.....if I should have said "xxx was a wonderful wife (that's what my W said to the LG about me)...well, then, I blew my marriage. (three names....new VS underwear every few weeks..no interest in my life and complete secrecy....that was enuf for me).
But this is water under the bridge.........
As some know, I make a mental record of some of my patient's responses as to the key to the longevity of their marriage. Today, I saw an 88 year old male and during our talk, he told me that he recently lost his wife of 58 years marriage. I said I was sorry and asked him what was the key?
Me: So, Mr. XXX..tell me...what was YOUR secret for such a long marriage?
XXX: I turn her off.
Me: What? What do you mean you turn her off?
XXX: I turn off both my hearing aids.
So..reiterating....the key to a longstanding marriage is really not so complicated...it's simply.......mutual respect and a sense of humor.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
