Ugh, just got done talking w/ my D a little while ago. She told me that when her mom told her she had a BF my D asked how old he was. She said 55 but he doesn't look it. My D said what, does he look 54? My wife told her, he's very good looking. LMAO, but seriously I'm wicked pissed now. I called the wife and said, I think it's bad enough that you're doing this but don't you think you're giving our D too many details? She said she asked and I said I guess that makes it ok then. She said, look it's 930 and I have to be at work at 530. Don't ever call me and bitch at me again. I said at this point I'll do what I want. You don't get to tell me what to do anymore and then I hung up. I hope she stews about it all night. I have a feeling she knows I'm contemplating turning her in. Enough is enough, I hope my friend can provide me w/ a name tomorrow. Mother #$#$#$ !!!!
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
Wow, I still am waking up at 3 am. I guess I'm contemplating what to do over the next few days as far as exposure goes. I don't see any other way. Now that my D knows I feel like my wife has come full circle in her disrespect and disregard towards me and her family. I have given her every opportunity to come home and she has basically spit in my face. I don't see how this could get worse. I have to expose. If I don't I think I will regret it for the rest of my life. If I'm missing anything, if anyone has any reason why I shouldn't do this please give me your thoughts. I know that this is an emotional decision but I am doing my utmost best to focus and to inject logic into my sitch. If I don't expose, the affair continues. If my wife is telling my D that he's very handsome, then there is no way she intends to end this and move home in my mind. If I do expose, the military at the very least will question my wife and OM and issue no contact orders while an investigation insues. My wife was stupid enough to tell me that 3 civilians she works with know about the OM. So again, I ask, what's the downside to exposing?
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
You've been asking this question for a long time now. I think you ask because you are seeking validation, because you are afraid to do it.
You have to make this decision. It sounds like Hooper understands your position and your career the most. I would listen to him.
I agree with Hooper that she shouldn't have the right to come and go, and follow you into your bedroom, with the house. You should change your locks and stand at the door when she comes over so that she doesn't enter into the rooms anymore. She has to feel more boundaries now.
It is really gross that she is talking to your D as if she's a girlfriend. It's disrespectful to the father of her child and trashy. But, then again... if the shoe fits, I suppose that is exactly what you need to expect.
I'm ALL for you doing whatever you can to get full custody of your D. I don't care what the realistic expectation should be. If you two end up moving to all different parts of the country because of your jobs, your D should stay with you.
Keep behaving as a fine man. Listen to Hooper about no drinking, get the booze out of the house, tidy up the house perfectly. Set the stage.
I have set up an appointment w/ my commander for tomorrow morning. I think he knows but is waiting for me to tell him. I have never been more pissed off and focused in my life! If my friend cannot provide a name, I think I have enough details where they can figure it out if my wife refuses to admit who he is. Wow, would that be really stupid at this point. All I know is it's going to get ugly. If she wants a shot at this marriage, I hope the very hand of God reaches down and gets of hold of her today and shakes her because tomorrow it's all over.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
Like the others, I think that YOU have to make this decision, and you need to have a peace about it. I will only add this:
I cannot think of a single instance where I ever felt like I should have taken a SOFTER stand. Most of my regrets in my marriage, in dealing with my kids, and in my life in general have been that I wished I had been FIRMER and drawn a stronger boundary.
AFWAW, You are doing well...agree with Pup 100 %. Stay calm and be a professional although it is okay, and expected to be yourself with your CC, he is not your enemy, I would try to have your 1Sgt with you also, you will be very surprised how much power the Shirts have on base. Bring a copy of all your evidence with you...even if it is handwritten notes such as what your daughter told you about the OM.
Are you sure your finances are in order? What will you do if she stops paying everything? Did you sell the jet-ski? Use the money to pay-off bills...going through this is about as bad as it gets, going through this broke sucks. I will write more later...for now...
no more phone calls, you would be better served to keep notes and have your daughter be your ear to your wife without her (d) knowing. Your wife continues to dig a deep hole that will be hard to climb out of...
Hoop, It is hard to stay calm at this point although I am trying. My finances are in order, nothing to worry about here. We only have one joint credit card w/ less than $500 on it. If she stops paying everything, I will be ok, I have been very frugal and can afford to pay.
Copy all, no more phone calls. Standing by for words. I have never been more scared of what I'm about to do in all my life.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
