First off, i want to say thank you sara, you are such a wonderful person, I don't know how i can repay you for talking to me at 3am in the morning your a gem and anybody would be lucky to have you as a friend.
nc/doc~ Im ok. Such a long story, but the texting to the ow was a misunderstanding, sort of.
h meets many people when he is doing homeshows, so he meant this girl and she apparently wanted to get involved in selling green. Anyways, it was very innocent.. oh but the way, I called her, and ripped her a new one, she did call back and said she was sorry that it was nothing like that, she was just being a friend and that she has a serious boyfriend and she would never get involved with a married man. She asked me to call her back.
i did, but only to leave her a message saying that my h doesn't need any "friends" and if you have a boyfriend you should be tending to him.
Ya I know i was harsh, but this is the way I am when it comes to this stuff, can't hold anything back.
He did come home, told me that he was out driving around, conteplating driving off a clif... this through me for a loop. he was sobbing and crying at this point and told me that he just couldn't take me not speaking to him for a week with no affection or communication. then he told me that he is so insecure and that is his problem and that he was sorry for all of it. he told me he would move out to give me time and that he understood why I was so upset with him.
so, I told him no, I didn't want hgo toleave, that all i want is to go to therapy. he said he would do whatever it took. So I have to start looking for one.
Yes, what a relief that he finally is willing to go.
i have to tell you guys, that im not perfect either... (sorry to dissapoint you doc ) but I know that i can be standofish. Im not cold I would say, but im not affectionate.. just with my kids. unfortuntely this is exactly what my dad is like, and they haven't had sex in 6 years (yes my mother told me that.. YIKES!!)
He told me that he loves me so much it hurts when i turn him away, this is something im going to have to work on.
We did go to the communion together and had a really good time. Yesterday we had a quiet day at home, then I went over to my mom's house to see her.
so there you have it. I am going to start slowing down on the boards more. I need to focus on what is going on at home.
I do know now he does really love me, I've never seen him break down like that, so he dealing with some real insecurity issues that only therapy can help. and hopefully I can really start to be happy with him in a better mood.
Thank you all for your concern. this board is a god send. there are so many good people on here that i have had the pleasure of knowing.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
your a gem and anybody would be lucky to have you as a friend.
