WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 8

[confusedinpa]

It was a pretty rough day for me. She picked up the boys to take her to her mom to celebrate Mom's day. Normally I would go with her. I went to church by myself. It was sad to see all the other families and the service was about mothers.

I was teary eyed as I left the service so I went to the gym to work it out. Afterwards I did the yard work. It was almost 3PM by the time I was done and I realized I hadn't eaten anything all day. I ate a late lunch - I almost lost my appetite when I was at the table by myself

I did laundry and cleaned the house to distract me. When it was time for dinner, it was hard. I ate at the table by myself - fighting back the tears. I don't know why it was so hard today

She called at 8 for me to say goodnite to the kids. After the boys got off the phone, she got on and talked about her day. She talked for almost 20 minutes about her day and how frustrated she was about her sister and cousin. I know I should have stopped her sooner but I wanted to hear her voice. I did manage to stay positive and upbeat. She was going to keep going when I hear my oldest ask her a question. I took that opportunity to end the call.

I've got to get a hold of myself and pull myself together

Thanks for reading