I started to implement the Last Resort Technique yesterday. I made plans with my girlfriend to go shopping and just hang out last night. Apparently my H told my younger son that if he was a good helper to me yesterday he'd take him to the movies last night. We were cleaning up because my older son's girlfriend's family was coming over to take pictures for prom. Anyway, when I heard about their plans - my H said to me - is that OK? Like he had to have my permission which was weird. I said of course! I have plans with C tonight.
When I got home last night, he was getting ready for bed - actually sleeping in our bed instead of downstairs. We made some small talk and watched TV. This morning he actually went to church with me. But I should have known better. Before church started, he asked if I'd care if he went our place at the lake next weekend becauseI said I didn' I'm going Memorial Day weekend with the boys (sons). Of course I said that was fine. But, I also said I never said just the boys were going. I said your welcome to go too. I'd rather we all go as a family (big mistake I know).
Then unfortunately during church I couldn't stop crying. He said to me what did I do? I said you didn't do anything. Uhhhh! Then I remembered we are suppposed to go the counselor Friday night at 6 pm after work which agitated him because he'll want to leave early Friday afternoon to go to the lake. On the way home from church he asked if he could call and see if we could go Thursday night. Unfortunately, the therapist only works at the office by us on Friday and Saturday. I gave him the card anyway to see what he can come up with.
When we got home, he said Do you want to go by yourself and then maybe I can go by myself? I said why...I know another mistake. He said I just don't know what to do because I don't want you to misinterpret anything. I slept here last because I couldn't take sleeping on the couch downstairs again. But I was afraid you'd misinterpret it. I'm afraid of being too nice - I'll afraid you'll misinterpret. And I'm afraid of being too mean- that you'll misinterpret it.
He took our sons over to his father's house to mow the grass so I went for a long walk. Trying to get over this weepiness today! We're supposed to meet my parents for dinner at 5 pm so I've got to get it together!
He did make sure our sons bought me a gift (hanging baskets of flowers) and a card which I think they'll give me later today. Which I do appreciate it. But I'm also angry - because this is just the crappiest Mother's Day ever! I'm in that angry mode again where I just want to shake him and say how can this be good for anyone!? Especially you?! I just can't believe he's made peace with the fact that he'll have to tell the boys and he knows he'll have to be the "d..." (his words not mine). How can you be at peace with tearing your family apart?
Any suggestions anyone has for implementing the Last Resort Technique or anything else - I'd sure appreciate it!
w - 47 H - 46 S - 18 S - almost 14 M - almost 25 yrs. still living in the same house
