Nathan tried to make me cereal this morning but we were out of milk.
So I took the kids to the store and we got milk and donuts and ate together.
Dan met us at church. The sermon was about how to live a Christian life in the current day, with technology, culture changes, etc etc. Self-control was a big element in what he said. And making right choices, and living an authentic life, not trying to be a Christian at church and a person of the world when you are out at work or with friends. Loved it!
Came back home, Dan was talking about my back yard, how it slopes toward the house instead of away. We knew it when I bought it but it was on our plan of improvements.
I told him I would call a grader/grading company to have the dirt moved. He said no, call an equipment place, he would do it but needed to rent the equipment to move all the dirt. I told him it was nice of him to offer but it was my yard, I would hire someone to do it. He needed to keep working on his own house...he did not like that answer.
He also grilled me steak for lunch. And while he was grilling he said "I got you some hanging baskets for mother's day. Where can I hang them for you?"
I said, "You got me some baskets?" Cause I figured they were 'from the kids'...He said, "Yeah, I did." And he told me where he thought I would like them hung and he was right.
Anyway he left w/Nathan to go work on the farm. I am going to spend the afternoon with Sydney and we are meeting up to take his granparents for supper (and MIL/FIL). His are the last 2 surviving granparents either of us have. They are totally clueless about our situation, and are not in great health, in their 80s. So I will go b/c I may not see them again.
Thanks! Just got back from visiting my mom and sister with Sydney. Stopped at the recycling place with 4 bags of stuff, was going to go home at get more but Sydney fell asleep in the car so I brought her in for a nap. Yay! An hour to catch up on my banking! Simple pleasures...
I am starting the spring clean up too. It got missed last year due to all the crap that was going on. I have about two weeks till H gets back from trip. I hope I can get the majority of it done.
HHmmm interesting Dan didn't care for it when you told him to take care of his own house. I think you are really surprising him lately. Keep it up.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Yeah, he got really pissy about me hiring someone to re-grade the back yard. He came at it strictly from a financial angle though. "Hiring someone will cost thousands possibly, just let me do it..."
Then yesterday I found out we can re-up for insurance during May. It is a once-a-year deal and i thought it was August b/c they offered us insurance last August. Turns out that was only b/c I was a 'new hire'; the typical opt-in month for insurance at work is May. So I e-mailed Dan about it. Originally when we talked financials I asked to stay on his insurance until August and he thought that was a good idea.
So anyway I emailed him about it yesterday. I just said "May is the month we can choose to sign up for insurance, not August. It says we can also change it at any time for changes in marital status but I can go ahead and do it now." {We agreed back in January that he would keep the kids on his insurance b/c it is a better plan, so only I would switch}.
He replied back, "For the sake of money stay on mine for now."
So odd, he doesn't want to be married to me anymore but he wants to come re-grade my yard and keep me on his insurance. Wtf does it matter, "For the sake of money"? I would be paying my own insurance, so it would save him money. He is weird...
Oh, and speaking of his own house, I pissed him off about that on Sunday evening, too...
I said, "The kids are really wanting to have overnights with you, so if you want to come spend the night here on occasion I can go somewhere else. But they want more time with you." He kind of shrugged/nodded. Then I said, "It would be great if your house was ready to live in during summer break so they could get used to it before school starts again..."
He interrupted me, was all pissy, "Don't hound me, I am working on it. I don't have any time to get anything done and I am doing the best I can." I said I wasn't nagging, just saying the kids would like the chance to spend the night with him, they miss him. He said, "Oh, sorry,I thought you were hounding me."
Also Sydney was bugging me all weekend about being a flower girl when we get married again. I casually mentioned it to Dan last night, and he said "They don't say things like that to me." I just said, "Yeah, it is strange they only say it to me." He says, "Well, I don't feed into it...." of course he thinks I do! Grr
Well, literally one minute later he was still in the hall getting ready to go. I went into the kids' room to tuck them in.
Sydney says, loudly, "I want my Daddy."
I said, "Daddy isn't here."
Sydney, "Why not?"
Me: "Because he sleeps somewhere else. You know that."
Nathan: Why can't he just sleep in the basement?
Me: I don't know Nathan, that is Daddy's decision.
I walk out in the hall and he is still standing there. I said, "Did you catch that?"
He says, "Yeah, you could have just said that I had some stuff to do, you didn't have to make a point about my leaving."
Is he SERIOUS? Yes, it is all my fault, isn't it???
Thanks, Sara. I don't buy into the idea that we must say "Mommy and daddy have decided....." That is a lie. I will not give them graphic details, but they know Mommy lives with them, Daddy is the one who left. They are smart kids and they know I never wanted this. I won't badmouth him, but I won't take the blame for his decisions either.
