Renee, sorry your here, I haven't posted in a couple of years but your question is a good one, I'm with the rest of the group, the prospect for seeing him come back to the man you knew and be made whole after what he's done is slim, it does happen rarely I have seen it in real life, but the damage done takes a toll, me and my ex have been separated for about five years now, Divorced for for 3 and a half, she married the dirt bag she had the affair with, I've known her for thirty years, and I watched her turn into someone I had never met, she was very moral, her favorite saying was you always have to do the right thing regardless, and she did, she was very classy, extremely smart, she left me for a guy who has been in prison three times for drugs,had been a life long junkie Meth user, robbed and stole to support his habit, has a sixth grade education was his prison evaluation, has since been diagnosed with Hepatitis from the drug use, is now having mental problems, manic depression and Obsessive compulsive disorder, and has an 8 dollar an hour job, when he keeps one, about three years ago she sent me an e-mail calling me and accusing me of everything under the sun, absolute insanity, I never responded and haven't heard from her until a few weeks ago, she forwarded me some financial stuff she had received.
Her dad who was also one of the finest men I ever knew growing up,very religious, helped lots of people good businessman gave back to the community,fantastic father and husband, well he had the big MLC and my ex is the one who found out, she called the OW and ripped her but good, then called her dad and let him have it and called her mom told her, it was horrible, her mom got cancer and died a couple of years later, her dad came to see her before she died she was living with us, he was nice but never apologized to her, he married the other woman and moved across the country, he died of cancer of a few weeks ago, and this is where it gets interesting, I guess on his deathbed he finally expressed a lot of remorse and wished he had never left, and regrets everything and hopes to be reunited in heaven with my ex's mom, very sad.
After his death my ex put his obituary in the local paper, she wrote it as if her mom and dad had never Divorced, and left out his new wife, it a was very Rosie picture, his new wife who lives many states away read it on line and sent her own obituary to the paper and basically said a lot of very hurtful things aimed at my ex, now the friends and family on both sides are having a full blown fight on the newspaper website, and my ex is taking the moral high ground against the affair and the regrets her dad expressed before his passing, which has caused a lot of our friends to ask the obvious, how can she take this position when she did the exact same thing to me and is showing no regret.
Me and my ex did exchange several e-mails, I told how sorry I was to hear about her dad, before he died, and wished her well and she wished me well, I passed her a couple of days ago and she waved for the first time in almost four years, shes been driving a pickup with really loud pipes and her license plate said outlaw, in the last couple of weeks she bought a small car and I think she may be finally starting to come out of the tunnel some, but its been over five years since this started and she's still married to the dirt bag and i think will probably remain so, so the moral is you haft to let them go, this is a long ride, and there's no way to change their mind, only they can do that and they usually don't, so take care of you there's a life out there waiting just for you, if and when he decides to come around more to his old self is his time line and it can take a very long time. Take Care. Livin
