Last night I went to a dinner dance without H. Asked him if he needed a ticket but he said No. Of course I would have prefered to have had him there but I wasn`t going to let his absence stop me going out there and enjoying myself. There were a lot of people there whom I really wanted to catch up with.
H was surprised that I was going. Angry even. After he realised I was going he said a couple of little things just to rise me-"I`m taking next week off and I`m going up. DS13 has to be taken to football on Thursday and Friday" I just said "That`s okay"
This morning -after the dinner dance-he eventually asked how it went. I said it was great and mentioned a couple of people who were there. He said "I`d say they were all talking about me" I said"They weren`t all talking about you. someone did ask where you were but I said you were babysitter" "That was a silly thing to say" he said. Well should I have told them the truth them I thought but I bit my tongue. His tone was quite defensive at this point. "God knows what you`re telling people" he said.
I just said nothing.
Now the above conversation though on the face of it negative actually was the longest one we`ve had in four weeks.I try to keep things light and about the kids, never about R. Maybe it marks a shift in for H: he finally might get that I can go on without him.
I do think I missed a key DB opportyunity. I should have validated his feelings without agreeing with him and said"I see you are very angry. I`m sorry about that. I hope you get a good break next week" I was anxious not to go into the tit for tat dance when he accused me of blabbing. Yes, there are three friends who know about this but they are all very clear that my aim is to save the M(even if I`m not very clear about that aim all of the time...) and are very supportive.
Should I say something to him now to acknowledge his hurt? Or leave things as they are? Is it going too much towards R talk of I do?
