If your WAS would agree...

[NNP1965]

why couldn't you split the debt and get spousal support?

becasue ss is based on ability to pay, the more debt H takes the less ss he will be able to pay.

[WCW]

What is your L advising you to do?
What will change or stay the same when H takes his new assignment?

Also, I want your plan of how to be debt free in 2 years. I'll give a copy to my H too!

[NNP1965]

and how long is "spousal" support supposed to last? Do you really see yourself staying single for the rest of your life?

I have not answered that because I am not sure. Right now, I can not imagine myself with anyone else. But I am at the point where I am ready to consider a new life and this is something I need to think about. Maybe we can move forward with D, that would be my choice over a separation.

[NNP1965]

I am doing pretty good friends, but I would like to ask you all to hold my H up in prayer. Thank you

[Matilda2]

Hi NNP. Still ok? I can't remember timing for your H's transfer to his new duty station...has it happened?

[NNP1965]

yes I am okay... not yet, June

[NNP1965]

Yesterday I had the privilege of spending a few hours with some very good friends. It was a pleasure to observe a man who loves his wife and children and chooses to spend time with them over anything else. I want some of that.

[WCW]

I spent the weekend horse camping with a bunch of married friends. It's always hard being the single married person.

I understand what you're saying about how wonderful it is to see good couple or families and wish we had that, we long for that.

One of the couples I was with had a big fight over donuts, the H wanted to share them with other campers and the W was angry that he brought them to camp.
Another W demanded that someone get to the campfire NOW, and then said she's used to always being the bitchy one at home.
Another couple sit on opposite sides of the campfire and pick at each others words.
Another couple can't join the group because the W is so weird.
Another H is the most great guy as long as he does whatever his W asks and does it now.

I guess those wonderful M's are all in how we perceive it. How much time do you spend working for something that will most likely never live up to our expectations?

[WCW]

Happy Mothers Day NNP! did your boys treat you to breakfast in bed?

[NNP1965]

...not in bed, but a great Mother's Day! My MIL and SIL (H's sister) were here. We had a very nice visit.

Unfortunately H "could not bring himself" to share anything about this sitch with them.

I had hoped that his reluctance meant that he did not want to leave me. But he said "Oh no, I think have got to go so I can figure out if I've done the wrong thing".

I am not sure what I am supposed to be doing, I know I have not DB'd effectively. I guess all I can do is continue to go to IC and work on me. H still wants to separate, but that really is not acceptable to me, so I guess I will have to file when the time comes... which seems ludicrous to me - since I do not want a D!!!