Yesterday S16 came round (out of the blue). It was lovely to see him but then he dropped the bombshell that H wanted to come round and collect the things he had said he wanted in our agreement. Note this is the very same agreement that he is now refusing to sign and is now demanding virtually double the money we agreed on.
I thought about it and then said yes he could come but he only had an hour to remove everything he wanted and anything left after that I would be keeping until he signed the papers.
S16 said he wanted some other things that weren't in the agreement and i said he couldn't have those. S16 said H had told him they were tools that belonged to other people. I gently pointed out that H had been gone 3.5yrs and surely if these people wanted thier things they would have asked beforehand. I knew H was lying but I wasn't about to shoot the messenger.
I got v. upset just at the thought of him coming.
I made sure that everything he wanted out of the garage was out on the drive waiting for him when he came. I knew that otherwise he would take things that weren't his and we hadn't agreed upon. I sat with S16 on the drive until H came and then I went inside. I didn't want to see him.
A lot of the stuff was gym stuff, weights etc but there were also two bikes. It was obvious they weren't all going to go in the car at the same time. Nevertheless he didn't turn up until 3.45pm.
they loaded the stuff into the car and S16 asked if I would put the two bikes behind a locked gate whilst they were gone. I agreed to this but said he should let me know when they were on their way back so that they were back on the drive again when they needed them. I wasn't taking any chances. I had already warned S16 that if H tried to take anything that wasn't his I was calling the police. It didn't come to that thankfully.
When they left with the first lot of stuff they took with them a toolbox full of spanners. He hadn't asked for this but I gave it him anyway as I knew that even if a job arose that needed them I wouldn't have clue where to start. taking them first time was a big mistake on Hs part.
One bike was very expensive (given to H by BIL) and the front wheel just slipped off that (its a racing bike). the other one though needed spanners. Oops the spanners were no longer here!
So to cut an even longer story short they had to leave without the second bike and a smaller weights bench that they also couldn't fit in. S16 came back in the house to wash his hands and told me that H has given him a message that he would sign the papers and then come to the house, walk through it and take whatever he wanted. The remaining bike was one that he had been using as his own had been stolen. I told him that if he came and made it roadworthy he could take it whenever it was ready.
H and I never spoke to each other and he didn't see me. In retrospect part of what happened was probably my fault but I wanted him to see that he couldn't bully me into submission anymore. Besides given his refusal to sign the papers he is very lucky that I even agreed he could take his things.
Anyway it's done now. I will have to take on the chin whatever further consequences come my way as a result.
I started reading a book this weekend. It's called the Memory Keeper's Daughter. It's quite sad, has no bearing on any of my life but this coupled with yesterday's incident has left me feeling with a profound sense of loss and like the woman in the book I don't know why (exactly). I really thought I had got past the grief stage but clearly I haven't.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
