Friday, I took daughter to a concert series and kept her overnight.
Saturday, her and daughter made cupcakes for a dance picnic. She texted me a picture of my daughter cooking them. Very nice.
Went over to borrow the lawn mower (we agreed to use one until move, foolish to buy a second when we may move in two months and not even need the one we have). wanted to get in and out without seeing her. Getting it no problem, dropping it back off they were home and saw me. Played with daughter a little, wife asked me to set up sprinklers. I agreed to show her how to do it. Then they gave me a cupcake. Then she asked me if I could fix a lamp she couldn't fix herself Very pleasant visit but still?
I mean the only way to say no in my mind is to be a dork. So what the heck.
I was thinking about what Robx, Puppy, Gucci and others say while mowing, She acts like I am there if she ever snaps to and says lets give it another try. She says stuff that implys that. And I wonder why is that? But like they say,,, because it's true or at least she thinks it.
Funny though... I am becoming comfortable with her not being in my life. So I am mowing and thinking so what.. there were things she did that I didn't like but she doesn't see her doing anything wrong. Whole marriage collasp was my fault. I made a lot of mistakes but not all my fault. Now I am just pissed at her because she gets to live this fantasy out where there are no lifes problems or kids around. That's BS! And I don't like her for that!
I feel pretty good as long as I don't see her. The physical attraction is overwhelming when I am around her. And when we talk I still feel that comfortable feeling. I really use to like being around her. We were very compatable and was like being with a best friend.
i have to keep telling myself there are other women out there that will have the same qualities but not be so self indulging?
Then tonight we talked on the phone because we are trying to manage some of daughters homework (end of year) projects and it is all nice, friendly and fun.
Best thing about that convo was she talked about how much fun her and daughter had doing things together. How daughter kept telling her how much she loved her. That really made me happy! Maybe she is coming out of her selfish funk a little and can make room for my daughter! I really hope so.
I did ditch her first on the phone. Said I had to get going.
I see you had a nice weekend ..... good to hear. I suppose the only way to get out of doing something for her is to say you have plans & gotta go how about I fix it xx day? Something to think about, if you're looking for a 180 backward, tuck, flip, spin sidweways?
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
Kenn, you know I love you but I'm going to slap you around a bit. As long as you continue to do everything for W she is cake eating. She has OM for excitement and you to take care of everything at home. Stop being her handyman. If it doesn't directly relate to your D's safety or well being then W needs to handle it on her own. She can't fix a lamp? Say "You're right, you really should have an electrician look at that."
Why are you pissed that she's living a fantasy life without responsibility? You are the one giving it to her.
By staying so available you are doing two things: enabling her to cake eat and remaining the focus of her/your (couple's) problems.
xBF has told me that when I kicked him out and refused to speak to him on a personal level it forced him to reassess the situation. He thought about me all the time, missed me, and realized that I was not the source of his unhappiness.
I know you cannot go completely dark because of your D. But you can stop acting like W's best buddy. If saying no makes you a dork then you need to be the biggest dork you can imagine.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
So I have daughter with me to work on class project. And soccer practice. So I asked her if she wanted to stay with me or go home to her mom's. She decided to stay. That always makes me feel good. Don't think it pleased the wife but she'll make it.
So we get home from soccer, eat dinner, do the project, have her take a shower and lay her down for bed.. whoo! Hectic! And then .... Dad? I have to have some dirt from the garden. What? Yeah, we all have to bring in a plastic bag of dirt from the garden that we can analyze (big word for 8 year old) tomorrow. It was part of my home work but I didn't want to dig in the babysitter's garden. Argh!!! So I am like, stay in bed I'll get the dirt and out the door I go in shorts, flip flops, flashlight, zip lock bag and a spoon....then just as I am clearing the door.... oh Dad, it needs to have a worm in it..... WTH!!!!!!!!
anyone want to adopt an 8 year old?????? I know my neighbors were laughing their butts off at me. I was actually rethinking Joint Custody for all of about 15 seconds..... but at least I found a worm. Took the one out of my bottle of Tequila. Wait till they are analyzing that in the third grade tomorrow LOL!
Very pleasant visit but still?