Dave, I paid a random visit to your 'sitch' and read most of - its typical of these WAW where there's a 'provider' (a.k.a "controlling" or "emotionally abusive" H). She's looking for greener pastures. I'd take Sandi's advice except try hard to actually not give "donkey's tail" not just "act as if you don't give a donkey's tail".
"I think the best thing to do is get 50% child visitation rights and go get a life and act as if you don't give a donkey's tail flip what she does with her's. That is about the best shot I see for you. "
