Setting Boundaries for MLC Alien H

[In Limbo]

Trapt and Grace,

Thanks for your responses, especially on a Saturday night. I will sit on this a while and reflect on my true motivations. I do know that as weird as it sounds, I feel sorry for this young lady and don't want to see her screw up her marriage b/c of my H. She was abused as a child, has phobias of being around most men, has too many chronic health issues to note and I believe my H is being predatory in his pursuit of someone so easily influenced. I gathered all of this from their emails, not from anything I got third hand. He is manipulating her and she is falling for it. Now, here is where I begin to question do I really want to be with someone who is manipulative and would take advantage of someone like her? Well, no. But I do want to be with my H minus MLC. I do not think her being out of the picture would stop MLC. No expectations there. Do I think it might make me feel better for a short while? Yes, until the next OW came along. So, I will continue to reflect, but right now I really do want to so something to stop H's MLC from ruining another M. Guess that's the controlling me coming out. Want to save everyone, even from themselves. So, for now I'll wait.....

One more question....any advice on how to bring up boundaries in conversation with MLCer in the least explosive way possible? The boundary I want to reinforce, while restating my commitment to M, is that if H ever has physical intimacy with another woman, I want to know (think I deserve to know after 22 yrs of faithfulness). I initially set boundary of no further contact with OW and so he's just lied about that (set that immediately post-bomb before DB, before learning about MLC and understanding that it was not realistic to expect). I'm not ready to enforce that boundary, but am firmly standing on the physical intimacy one. How do I bring it up and how do I have the greatest chance of him abiding by it, not just lying like with contact with OW?