Hey K... I know you are mad at him alot now, but then you said...
Originally Posted By: Kalni
He repeates and waits for my nodd "they arranged it, son and nephew". I am astonished again by the fact that he used the kids as if he couldnt say no, as if he he couldnt avoit it but making it clear it wasnt his suggestion. He is weak, lost, stubborn and VERY selfish.
fb2, you say clear communication. It's very hard to establish communication with a man that cant voice his thoughts, his wishes, his needs. He only voices his anger ... I may leave the house when he comes. Just to make a clear statement this isnt what I like.
...but, you dont clearly communicate with him? (or not anymore). You dont phone him. When he phones you, you told me you dont ask him how he is/what he has been up to etc, because you dont want to know, or why should you, so its all just about the kids. Then it seems you are NOT happy about the nephew/son arrangement, but you said you nodded.. so why did you nod agreement if you arent happy? Why didnt you go inside and say so? Why didnt you tell him honestly, how you felt?
You say he cant voice his thoughts and wishes and yet you say you will leave the house as a "clear statement".. but is silently walking out a clear statement? He may assume you have gone to a gf's or for groceries! Jody the db coach explained that this type of action (walking out to avoid talking) is a form of cold anger. Would it be better to speak to him instead? TELL HIM in a calm way, H, I am not happy with this arrangement. I dont want you to come by with your nephew. I asked you to talk and we cant talk with your nephew there. Please change the plan and tell Nikolas that he cant play with your Nephew on Sunday, I'd really like to see you alone so that we can have chance to talk to one another?
???
what do you think? Or..if you're done.. you're done, cant argue with that sunbeam!!
