help to save my marriage

[summerd]

Inns -
I often wonder why some posts get countless responses and others get none.
I find it interesting that a man who really wants to leave you would want to come back to live in your house. I also find it curious that you would want to get a protection order on the person you say you love in a marriage you seem to want to save. We do so many things when our hearts are broken and we feel so sad.
There is no excuse for an affair, period. And I can completely relate to your feelings since my husband cheated too. However, after more than a year of separation and then reconciliation, I learned a great deal about myself. I learned that when I really try I can love any person I choose with the same kind of unconditional love that I give my kids. That doesn't mean I'd sit by while they stab me in the heart! But, I began to try to think of my husbands actions as hurting himself and not me. I began to see him as the person giving in to so much of his own poor choices that all I could do was love him and let him know I would be there as long as I was able. When I began to show this strength, he found interest again, left his career of 20 years where he worked with the OW and moved back home.
I'm not saying this will happen for you or if you even want it. It's a struggle for us many days - yesterday I felt like leaving and I posted a long, desparate post this morning. By this afternoon, we kissed and made each other feel better.
BTW - he can never erase you as a person in his life unless he runs off with your daughter or chooses to cut her off. You will have a relationship with him for the rest of your life.