In the beginning my children were afraid to ask their father for anything for fear of further abandonment. I encouraged them to ask for what they wanted and if he said no or treated them differently for asking, so be it. They learned to cope with it. Counseling has helped. As much as you want to protect your children, you can't. I think it is better for them to know the truth now than find out later. Your son is 18, old enough to deal with this. If he is having problems, get him counseling. It is hard for us to help them sometimes because we are hurting ourselves. It helps to have an unbiased third person to get perspective on the situation. I have made mistakes like others here. Hopefully we can impart our experiences to prevent you from making the same mistakes. This board is invaluable.
One other thing about mlcers and wahs, it doesn't really matter the whys and hows, the reality is that you are on your own and need to make the best of what you have been left with. That is not going to change no matter how much you analyze the situation. It is a waste of time. The more you live for yourself and your son, the better you feel about yourself, the more attractive you become. We have an opportunity to grow and become better each day. We have hit rock bottom and are on our way up, stronger than before. It takes a long time to realize this (for me longer than most), but you will realize it too.
