Hey, I've just realized that it was two years ago today that I had my first outing with Coffee Buddy. I remember because it was the day before Mother's Day. For those who don't know, CB was a woman I befriended before my separation. Our kids went to the same day care, same dance class, same summer program etc and we would see each other frequently. At one point, today to be exact, I suggested that we hang out together while our kids performed and we ended up spending five hours together at a coffee shop (2.5 hours in the afternoon and 2.5 hours in the evening) just chatting. I was on the verge of ending my marriage as wife was planning to go away in the summer with OP for 10 days while I minded the kids! That pretty much did it for me. CB was a woman who always seemed so happy to see me, when she saw me her face would light up and she'd flash me the most beautiful smile, wave and stop to chat for a bit. She never did anything inappropriate but I was sure feeling good when she'd pay me attention. When you're in the midst of getting your ass kicked to the curb, feeling completely undesirable and an incredibly beautiful woman starts paying attention to ya...well, you start thinking thoughts you shouldn't have. So, I began coming later to pick up my kids so I'd miss her. I didn't need any temptations because I was out to save my marriage! Well, two years ago today I decided "to hell with it", my marriage is cooked and I might as well be friendly with this woman. I wasn't planning anything except to feel a bit of validation, which I got. After that, we started hanging out sporadically, a couple of weeks in a row then nothing for a week of two. I shared my sitch with her and her response was so incredibly touching to me. She was the first person who I saw wipe tears from her eyes because of what was happening to me. Wow, she cared! After listening to me she shared her divorce story saying "this is so hard for me to talk about with you, but I'm going to because I hope it helps you". When done she said "I've told you this because I want you to know that no matter how bad it gets, it will always get better" That got me through a lot of rough days! My favourite CB line was "Whatis, Let's look at this. Your wife sleeps in your basement, your Pastor thinks you're a single Dad because you never mention your wife and your wife is going away for 10 days and you don't know where she is going! I'd say you two are already separated." Who'da thunk it. Anyway, CB had a boyfriend and despite the fact that we weren't doing anything improper once I separated she cut off contact with me, just like that. I can only assume that it was because our intimacy was becoming an issue for her or her R. I was now a single man and it would be inappropriate for her to hang out with me like we were doing. I did manage to confront her once after about six weeks asking if I had done something inappropriate etc and she told me she now had chores to do on those nights ..whew, talk about a slap in the face. Well I think we both knew this was probably going somewhere it shouldn't, maybe not right away but it was heading down that road. I recognized then, and still do, that we had both put ourselves in a difficult situation and, as a friend said, "you two are really pushing the envelope". CB did what she had to do, it hurt but that's life. I put myself in that sitch and then paid for it but I also have some touching memories of someone who cared about me and didn't have to. Since she ditched me I've seen her a few times and I've stopped to chat once. The last few times I keep walking if she hasn't seen me because we really have nothing to talk about anymore! Polite chats about the kids is it, everything else is out of bounds. So, how time flies, two years seems like yesterday. Well, happy anniversary Coffee Buddy. I'll have your favourite today, a small decaf with two creams and 1.5 sugars...or maybe not cuz it really sounds yukky tasting...I'll just go to my kids birthday party and have some real fun! Youngest D turned 12 this week and the big party is today!!!!! Later Dbers.
