Setting Boundaries for MLC Alien H

[In Limbo]

My H is currently in EA with OW (she's 27 - what IS IT with these young girls - no way I'd have been interested when I was that age). I have no reason to believe it has become PA. I feel like right now he's just playing both sides to see which will work out. If OW reciprocates and indicates she might leave her H, I believe things will become different.

H is very suspicious of all changes I make and my concern is that since he gets angry every time I mention going with him to dances/parties/etc. that he might see me taking dance classes as trying to make fake changes just for him. I did however attend a Zumba class at the Y which is a sort of Latin dance aerobics thing. Might continue that to at least work on my coordination and rhythym. H does come home and have me practice with him.

I know that my sitch is not as difficult as many on here. My H is still coming home, still initiating physical contact, etc. I just can't stand living with all the lies. He has no idea how much I know and it's so difficult not to let it show on my face (I'm told I have a very expressive face). But I know that the moment he knows how much I've learned by "snooping" (one of his MAJOR hot buttons), then he'll totally back away. The heard thing is that so many of his lies are so transparent, there's not really snooping involved. He knows I'm an intelligent woman and very analytical, so I can't believe he thinks I don't see thru it all. I guess he's hoping love is blind.

This morning he asked if everything was alright. This was while we were watching the movie "Serendipity" that he bought for OW to watch - I guess to convince her they were "meant to be together." He held me during it and even initiated ML. WTH?!?! First I gave him the typical "Yes, nothing's wrong" answer but then decided to use J3B's suggestion and just told him sometimes it's hard to adjust to how our life is now. He just hugged me and didn't say anything. I guess when he stops asking, stops hugging, stops initiating contact, then that's when I know he's no longer conflicted. As long as he's conflicted, maybe there's hope.

Hope you have a good weekend. Seems like it's common around here that weekends are tough. Take care!