Newly separated...spouse left, 3rd thread

[antlers]

Hi CityGirl.

Being in survival mode has gotten me this far. When this first happened, I was devastated to say the least. I didn't know how I was gonna make it. I really didn't even know if I was gonna be able to carry on normal activities of daily living. Work was almost impossible to do. I have made it this far. I'm doing great at work. Activities of daily living are automatic now, taking care of the kids too. I'm so far better now than I was back in February and March, and I continue to do better. You've been at this for a long time. I haven't. These may be baby steps, but they are steps nonetheless. I'm more detatched now than I was in the past, and I want to continue to improve in this area. I am better now, and will continue to get better with this. More baby steps. I don't obsess/think about her as much...a noted improvement. I'll continue here too. There still is some limbo here, no doubt. But I'll get there.

It seems to me that the biggest part of Db'n is 'busting your divorce'! That includes rebuilding your life. I'm doing it...baby stepping it all the way so far. I want to be OK, either way. That doesn't change the fact that I still have a preference.

Yeah...I have. Maybe not as much as I should, but again, I'm taking baby steps. You have been at this much longer than me. I'm a newbie, and I'm learning. I still have hope. Do you think I should give that up? Yep, she's done all of those things. That's the reality. I know it. A divorce would look worse! Another person in her life would look worse! I'm scared of a divorce CityGirl. I don't want it. I know it's out of my hands, but that's how I feel. Divorce papers would change quite a bit. We would both then be free to date others, our finances would be affected, etc. I'm doing the best I can right now, and regardless, I've made progress.

I really want to get to where I don't think about her anymore; and I want to get to where what she says or does doesn't bother me. I'll get there too. Baby steps, but steps nonetheless. I don't want to 'react'.

I'm sorry that your situation is what it is right now. You are a tough lady though, and you help other people here, including me. Thanks. I want to get to where I shrug my shoulders and say OK, and I will.

I had to do some changing regardless of anything else. I am. I'm doing it because it needed to be done. Wish I had done them sooner...much sooner. I'm doing it for me, and for those I care about. Actions speak louder than words...we'll see.

I enjoy talking to you, and I appreciate you. I hope thing get much better for you too. TTYL.


antlers