Thanks for responding, I have been wrestling with it and I really do believe that cutting contact would have driven him further away. The wierd thing with my H was, he wanted to have his cake and eat it, he wanted the A but then he would come home on weekends and spend it with us. He NEVER asked to have the kids to himself or to leave me out of any family events. His Mom was starting to think that he is using me for handy babysitting service so that his visits would be a bit easier for him.
But my thinking is no, I think he feels awkward every weekend when he comes over but then after an hour or so, we get back into our routine, I DB my but* off and act as if and he actually starts to relax a bit. I think he actually misses family time so he likes it when he comes over. So the answer is if I cut him off, it would be awkward for him. So THEN the question is, should I cut him off now, withdraw my company and really let him experience how it is without me so that he can 'wake up' out of his fog and MAYBE miss me. Or should I continue to be kind and compassionate and wait it out? I don't really know if either would work. I just know that I would miss my kids like heck if I left them to him every weekend or every second weekend. In a wierd way, I would miss my H as well.
I figure, we are discussing formal separation. If he doesn't come back within the next few months, I'm moving home back with my family. He really will be alone then as we would be thousands of miles away. I think that reality is finally hitting him. I don't want to make anything contact that is negative or to cause any bad feelings anymore. He knows where I stand.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
