Just been catching up with your situation and it sounds very like mine. I can`t offer you a huge amount of hope as my journey is ongoing and I honestly don`t know how long I`ll stick it but just a couple of pointers. Your H seems to be in deep deep pain. Like my H, he is very angry(and blames you) and seems to need to control you(taking the phone is a classic example). Like you I called on every bit of support I could get for H. But I`ve found that I can`t force H into going onto therapy, mediation or anything else, it may come in his own time,which, yes, may be too late but it`s his decision. His heart won`t be in it if he doesn`t seek it himself. I`m using the Last Resort Technique from MWD`s books and just backing off from H entirely and not getting caught in the crazy dance. He has(and is)doing things to try to upset me but this puppet has just cut the strings and aint dancin no more. The M is still in jeopardy. But I`m in a happier place.
My other point is re separation. H refused point blank to move and I didn`t want to tear the kids out of their home. So we`re all still here together though H and I are sleeping apart. I wonder is it easier to heal the M in the long run if you stay in the same house? I don`t know.But separation brings another set of woes that I`m not ready to tackle yet.
