AFWAW, I agree with PortlandDad on this...if you had retired she would have still had the affairs...the difference would be you are retired with much less money and possibly dependent on her for help raising your daughter instead of able to do it on your own.
The guilt you feel is normal...everyone of us feel that when we leave our loved ones behind for months and months. You have to remind yourself that the reason your daughter and the other daughters out there are able to play, school, have fun, enjoy life, everything good in life that we have in the United States is because you and people like you have deployed and protected our freedom and way of life. The reason your daughter is able to ride her bike down the street without fear of rape, kidnap, or a beating is because of your personal actions. If your price to pay for her to have that freedom is your wife is ticked off then you wear that badge with pride.
You will find another wife that you love even more than this one but you will never accomplish anything more than providing your daughter with the tools she needs to continue your family.
I am not saying your marriage is over but it is not looking good. The only way you can save it for now is to expose and end the affair...I 100 percent agree with you on punishing the OM. If you can get proof this will happen...someone in your chain of command will not accept this. But, you must remember your wife was an active participant in this and base your decisions on that...she is living the party life for now and has paid none of the bills for pain she has caused to include your daughters pain. She will have to pay this one day...you did nothing wrong. Be proud of your actions, as you should be.
