Bobbi.. this is what I meant by speaking to a pschotherapist. Clearly, it is tearing him apart yes.
Why do people get into S&M and submissive/dominant practices? Personally I dont, but maybe they just like it. Maybe they like the feeling of being in control. But if it makes them feel ashamed and disgusted at themselves, theres something deeply wrong there, an inner turmoil. Have you asked him why he is into it? I dont see it that he is "unhappy" with his lifestyle choices and thats why he says he wants to die. I see it that he cannot accept himself and feels ashamed and probably hates himself for it, yes.
I wasnt expecting you to be ok about it... if you cant accept his lifesyle then perhaps you have to walk away yes. He may be able to tackle the addictive pattern of it, but (I dont know of course), I feel it is unlikely that Dan can be 'cured' of his sexual preferences. Anymore than you can cure someone of being gay. I guess I am saying it could be a deal breaker for your M. Nothing to do with religion. Sorry Bobbi.
