Just be sure that if you go the route of exposing everything to everybody that it's probably going to be the last resort and you may never get her back.
You can't "guilt" someone to come back to you and expect them to stay. Plus, the anger you're feeling right now is like you said, to get back at her.
The cycle is going to keep going around in circles unless you make a choice to stop it. If you want to continue to fight for your M, then don't do it as I see tons of resentment coming from your W towards you. If you don't want to fight any longer, then by all means expose. One other consequence is how your W will be viewed by your D.
If you start calling your W a b*tch, sl*t or whatever to get your anger out, how does that seem to your D? Yes, I know that your W doesn't care about that right now. But what about YOU? Heck many of us have been in your same sitch. I personally chose not to say anything to anyone although I did confront the OM.
Be prepared to live with the consequences of what may happen.
Good luck.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.