Bob...I doubt anyone on this forum can really help you. However there are websites about there about polyamorous lifestyles and swinging with people "in the know" about those issues who can help you if you want to pursue that type of life.
I hope that your wife really understands what you two are getting yourself into, if you both choose to go that route.
I have only limited experience with this topic, but I do have some, mostly coming from close friends and associates who have been there and done that, and a tiny bit of related experience myself...and what I can tell you is that, couples who engage in this type of lifestyle do not stay together forever. So...I think it is important for you to decide something for yourself right now: Do I want this lifestyle I am considering? Or do I want to be married forever to my wife? You kind of can't really have both.
If you go and find the swingers websites out there, of course you will find accounts from couples who claim they are married forever and will be together forever and they've been doing this for 20 years and blah blah blah...those couples will be the exception. In reality, there is no way to maintain a healthy marriage that includes any type of boundaries, if you are also part of that lifestyle. So the couples who "make it" and stay together forever, only do so because there are truly no boundaries to their marriage anyway.
So please think long and hard because you likely will not get to have both your wife, AND a swinging lifestyle. One of those two things will have to be your choice.
