Have you been looking at all at the affairs forum? You can read about other peoples sitch's over there and learn from what they have done.

Shes probably grieving for that OM relationship. I know its disgusting. Have you talked to your friend about what he was giving her that you couldnt? Or maybe just ask her what she thinks you would do to be there more for your W, its a thin, thin line between real information gathering and accidentally asking a question that you really dont want to know the answer to. Even if she tattles on you to W, would it be so bad for her to know that her H is trying to be better for her?

I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...