BND, If your daugther's height only gets to 5 foot, that would be okay, just as long as she's healthy and happy. There are a lot of children that are being born "small" or should I say petite these days.
The answers to her height may be answered in time.
I do hope that you are doing well. You've had a lot of things going on w/your family recently. Learn to stop and smell the roses and relax a bit. Rome wasn't built in a day and you must remember...take some time for yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
There were 2 schools of advice I received when my Husband would come to visit.
The first was to basically show him that I had moved on and to be detached and business-like. To have someone else pick him up at the airport, for him to stay in a hotel, and for him to make arrangements to see the children outside of the Marital home.
The second was to be loving and kind. To look my best when I picked him up. To have the house in order and make him feel welcome in his own home. To cook his favorite meals and to basically leave him with wonderful memories of home for when he returned to his MLC-life, 3000 miles away.
I chose the latter, which was the harder of the two.
BND,
Interesting you should post this. For the last 11 months H and I have been living 2500 miles apart. Although H's PA has ended, he has continued to contact/pursue OW but says he does want us to work on the M. In that time H has come to visit 6 times and has usually stayed for about a week each time. I have also received a lot of advice about having H stay in a hotel. Each time I've allowed him to come and stay in our home. It hasn't always been easy but I think it has been the best decision for us.
Each situation is different and sometimes you just have to go with your gut feeling.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Did you do most of the contact or did you let him contact you.. other than the children did you have any convo's about anything at all.Going off to work....besos my chica eres muy bella...LOL no really I mean it Be Blessed
I did none of the contact, I was told that unless it was a life and death emergency that I was not allowed to call him.
I did at times email him, but I learned the hard way that most of them went unanswered or he would send me emails that were so vile and ugly that it just wasn't worth the effort.
He contacted me if he had anything to tell me.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Can't seem to get any answers from anyone. I do find that I need another human's opinion sometimes. It's been a long low ride so far, but H hasn't filed yet. He has put together a $1,200 settlement agreement, which he says he wants me to sign. I've been "almost very dark" for months now. May 29th it will be a year that we are separated. (He's got it in his settlement agreement that we were separated in Nov. 07, but that is a lie). He even admitted it. I told his atty to change it but, so far, she hasn't.
Anyway, I'm getting off track here. My dilemma is this... May 26th is our anniversary. I have a gf, who supports me, and posed the question, should I send him an anniversary card? The last I spoke to him, I asked him if he wanted me to "not reach out" to him, and he said yes. I want to send him a card, but part of me is afraid that he might take that as a negative since he mentioned for me not to "reach out." Part of me also wonders if he may be sorry he said that.
he told you not to contact him, after you asked him what he wanted.
Are you going to supplant his wishes with your own? In his eyes...more than likely, yet again? I mean why even ask what he wants if your going to ignore it? That sounds cold, it wasn't meant to be. Trying to show you how he might be thinking.
If he was sorry he said that, it is on his shoulder to tell you, not for you to maybe contact him to see if maybe he regrets saying that..because if I were to bet...he doesn't, but you sure as sure will regret trying to find out if he maybe regrets it.
Bottom line, is it a negative to reach out after everything you just told us?
Bottom line is I think so, bottom line, I wouldn't. But hey, I don't wear your shoes, your miles to walk not mine.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
