Newly separated...spouse left, 3rd thread

[antlers]

Do the work on yourself for yourself with no outside expectations.

That's what I'm doing Coach, although I want there to be a reconciliation, it doesn't look good at all! I am working on myself for myself with no outside expectations. Outside expectations right now seem like a 'false hope'! If I get better, and do better, and still get divorced because that's what she wants...can't really call it 'divorce busting' huh? I came here to save my marriage. It ain't happening so far! Doesn't look good either! I screwed up...bad! She left because of that. She's more pissed now than ever, and told me just how she feels about us on April 30th. Awful! It's been 8 days with no contact at all. I'm very hopeful that it continues, and that it'll provide me with space to detatch. I can't do anything now except learn from my 'idiotness' and work at being a better man, and a better dad for my kids, and be a better husband...if not to her...then to someone else on down the line. Right now though, seems hard to imagine I'll ever be with anybody else if a divorce happens. I'm 48 years old. It hurts too to think about the last 2 decades with her, and my remorse is a heavy burden that I continue to bear. Losing someone that means so much to you because you acted like an idiot is a hard thing to live with!

I appreciate your input Coach, and also learn a lot when reading your posts to others.