180s = changing things that the spouse had indicated somehow or even clearly repeated he/she didnt like about you and the things you were doing and
most importantly IMO effective 180s are the ones where you are doing things that dont affect the spouse necessarily but are things for you that you have always said you wanted to do, or wished you could do and never did.
So, my biggest 180s were changing my philosophy about things and stopped being negative, (always looking at the glass as empty -he complained about that alot), I became upbeat and found my humor and I think that was the most effecitve one for me and the one I NEEDED to make irrelevant of H. I made some other changes like I changed my hair color for 1 month from brunnete to blond (always said I wanted to do that-he was shocked), made a trip I wanted to make, started having fun with my kids and was very calm with them, started cooking things I never tried before, started reading again as I always wanted to etc etc.
Most of these things were for ME, I felt better about myself and were things that I used to put off.
Doing a 180 doesnt mean you change something that is positive and make it negative only to make a statement. Imagine you are given the right and opportunity to do some of the things you always wished you could do but for some reason never tried to. 180s doesnt mean change your behavior aiming to attract your spouse, I've been around long enough to see that unless you really are into the change you are making, the WAS "see" thru it and it is wasted energy.
Update your wardrobe, use different make up styles, if you have kids and they stay with your spouse every other weekend, use that time to do things you could never do before in the context of the family. FUN things, innocent things, get happy.
"Recharging" your body and soul shows, you get a glow that no MLCer or WAS can miss. It may take some time to actually see a response to it, if you ever do see one, but trust me THEY notice.
I tried a few other minor things in regards to him, like not being home when he was dropping the kids off, changing things in the house that made me feel better and surpised him, never-ever asked him where he was what he was doing which I did that to detach but it was a 180 to show absolutely no curiocity, kept a distance from his family setting boundaries he didnt want me to set but were imoprtant for my sanity, didnt answer the phone somtimes when he called, etc etc
In conlcusion 180s should make them curious and maybe even wonder if you are moving on but I would really insist on making those changes only, you feel comfortable with. Dont change just "for the change". K
PS My H said he noticed every little thing about me.
