These OP are usually emotional people. That is why the straying spouse went toward them. The fill up what's needed, making the straying spouse feel like they are the most wonderful thing in the world. ON top of that, the straying spouse feels like they NEED them as well. Who doesn't want to feel needed? So, when deciding to leave them, all of this goes through their head......But, they NEED me. THey LOVE me so much. I feel so CHERISHED by them....blah blah blah.
My OM was like this. I knew it would be hard to leave him. As much as I knew he was not good for me and that I would be miserable being with him, I could not stop thinking about him and how he made me feel. He did drugs, had anger issues, no job, rap sheet, etc. He, up until about a couple months ago, did the call and hang up thing just about every couple weeks. This has been going on a year. I let the answering machine get my phone calls. Before, when I did answer the phone, I would get the "I love you so much" and "Look at what you did to me" all in one phone call. It shouldn't have mattered to me, but it did. I felt like I ruined his life. What I'm saying is don't underestimate how hard and how emotional this is for your H. Don't baby him, but just understand what he is dealing with. I wouldn't even talk to him about it, unless he talks to you about it. It is his mess, and it will be hard to clean it up.
