The BackSlide I was trying to avoid.. Please Help!

[PortlandDad]

Well, I can't exactly speak from an authoritarian POV here since my W and I are still separated and the ultimate D is looking more and more like a possibility, but I can tell you what doesn't work...

Being clingy, needy, crying all the time. That stuff is a major turn-off for the WAS. Also, any pursuit, calling, texting, following them around the house, writing letters, professing your love for them, telling them that you love them is also unattractive.

My W started being more interested in me when I backed all the way off and didn't have any contact with her for weeks at a stretch. It was so hard, but the longer that I resisted the urge to call and email her, the more often she picked up the phone and called me.

I would say that once it became a habit for her to do the calling, I prolly should have reciprocated a little more, because she started backing off doing that a bit.

In short, anything that build you up, or shows her that you are doing well without her is good to build up mystery and make you more attractive to her.