recently just found out

[lost-n-Iowa]

Just checking in on you...how was the first session with the councelor? Probably just the routine background, get to know you thing, but did it feel good to be there, did your wife seem closed up or open minded about it all?


If your wife agreed to the no contact, then she needs to follow through with it if you are going to be able to build that lost trust back up in her. My 2 cents??...what do you think would happen if you asked her what or if there was something that she would like you to do or not to do that would make her feel better, trust you more, help rebuild or rekindle things? Even though you are not the one that strayed it is going to take both of you to make this work again. She may feel like you did something (even if you don't and you may not have done anything)that led her to her predicament. (The person to blame usually trys to shift the blame to another person...we all know that).

If you ask her, she may answer something as simple as 'make me feel special'. If you can get her to tell you something that you can do, and you are willing to do what ever it is (within reason) maybe she will see that you are working towards a common goal and that she is not the only one working.

I really hope this makes sence. I have read it and reread it and I hope that you uderstand what I am trying to say and that you don't take offence if it did not come out right.

My H wants me to give him a 2nd chance and is begging me to take him back. When I told him what I want him to do that may help make things better, he replied that it sounded like he was the only one having to work on the M. Even though he was the one that was cheating he wanted me to change things too that he felt made him want to stray. It took me a bit to understand what he was saying but I get it now. No one wants to stand alone in the fight for something. I hope I made sense here. You can tell me if I didn't.