Strange New World

[native]

Hello Fitchik,

Let me make sure I understand your sitch - your W suffered a rape 7 years ago and is still coping with the effects?

She only just seemed to acknowledge her anger and trust issues with this new counsellor about a month ago.

I had a lot of anger & bitterness towards men who would look at me sexually and I never understood my own reaction

She tried dating a little but her reactions to the guys she went out with made her realize she is not ready and has trust issues. She confided this in me recently. God I hate feeling like the lbs, but it's some small comfort that she recognizes the fact that her trust issues are not limited to me. But she goes back and forth. She carries a lot of anger, and it often is still directed at me.

I am happy to answer any questions you have about how your W may feel. I may be able to give you more insight into her feelings???

I don't know where to begin....I want to know so much....how do I reach her....what can I do so that when the dust settles and she has sorted out her trauma so I can be the one she decides to be with....and how can I ensure I will still want to be that one when and if she does come around. I am so tired of her unhappiness and anger.

Does any of this have to do with her general inability to deal with stress or change, her low energy levels, depression, general fears or was some of this part of her before ? I don't know if you can help here or not, but I'm sure your exp. can shed some light here.

What does she need from me? How do I act with her? Should I wait for her, should I move on, should I pretend to move on, but really wait, or do I just let go......

I have long vascillated between anger and compassion with her....

I am getting burned out with it all. But if the dark cloud could lift from her, I'm sure she would be a much more attractive person.

Her feelings..........it seems that feelings dominate her....feelings I cannot seem to grasp....

there were times she wanted me to go with her to this dark place of despair, to understand but I was unwilling....I felt it was unhealthy to dwell as much as she did on such obviously hopeless and dark thoughts.I wish I would have listened anyway.