Its strange, feels peculiar to have this realisation... and then all the more so to do something about it! Even more so for your W!!! Mark - don't go too overboard with it! "Feel yourself into" things...
IMO you'redoing a great great job right now -but reel yourself in a bit and look for ways in which you can take charge a bit...e.g. kids don;t necessarily have minds of their own - "ok kids 2 choices -we have pizza or bacon sandwiches - which would you prefer ?" rather than-"what would you like for tea? and "juice or milk with that ? " rather than what would you like to drink?
Mark - you're in charge...you can anticipate needs within reason but they also have to be "manageable needs"
The smartest bit of advice I ever found on this board was nothing to do with "winning" my wife back but was about managing children and offering options in order to achieve a win/win situation -"kids, 2 options here -either another 10 minutes playing and then bath and story or 20 minutes playing, shower and no story -choose...!" -put crudely - but I hope you can see the strategy!
Mark - at the moment - your efforts are laudable - but you might be trying "too hard" through your kids - remember - whatever you're setting up in terms of expectations via your kids -you'll have to keep on doing, or else they'll be let down...letters are great etc...but is it realistic to keep that up?
Another good bit of wisdom I found said that to be seen as a "good dad" came from a single fundamental act -to do what you say you are are going to do -ie "I'll pick you up from school at 3.30 and then we;ll go to the park...I'll be there at 11.00am and we'll go to the pictures...and do it!
Mark - its all about actions...consistent, reliable actions - you're doing GREAT but don't set yourself up for a fall...
Your anticipations are great but these have to be almost "behind the scenes" - your kids "don't know" what they want-they're kids -not mini-adults - part of anticipating is knowing those things for them -having all bases covered and if something comes up that you haven't accommodated for being able to deal with it in an adult way.
I'm sorry if I've come across a bit harsh -that was not my intention -its a lesson I've learnt myself - and i know its difficult to get to grips with in the middle of such difficulties with your W...but just wanted to pass it on...
