Thanks guys. It was hard because I tend to just stuff it down and in order to get healthy I can't do that anymore. Its hard for me, but an important step.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I emailed MIL and got a very lengthy response that touched on many issues. I replied and stuck to my central issue. So from what I gather, MIL and H got into it last night and its all my fault. She has decided NOT to rent her house to the Troll and H is saying that she as much said it was because of my email. Based upon the inaccuracy of his contention that she "offered them" the house, I'm not sure WHAT I believe, other than they both need professional help.
Its drama as usual and I would have just been better off to have kept my mouth shut and left well enough the hell alone. That was my gut instinct and I went against it...
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
No, Sugar. You needed to say what you said. You sound a lot like my H. He tends to stuff things down when he is upset about something just to keep things "smooth", but eventually it builds and then he blows (not always on the same topic). It's not good to keep things inside. My H's parents used to do this as well. They taught him it is better to not make waves, and to sweep things under the carpet. WHat happens is that those things don't really go away and they get worse.
I'm proud of you for telling her how you feel, and I'm glad the OW will not rent that house.
Drama ensued. That's fine. You did the right thing, and you get to continue to do the right thing. Whether the rest of them do remains to be seen.
Life is drama. I secretly believe everyone's life IS a soap opera(thus why people get so easily addicted to them!) Whatever was said between them is exactly that...between them. Only what was said in your e-mail is an issue between you and your MIL.
People like I said don't always think before they act. You did and you should be proud of yourself for stating your hurt feelings. No reason at all to let it fester. You are one tough cookie and a bit snarky too!!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
YEAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Sugar, I just got updated with your thread. I am so happppppy that MIL is not renting to OW. Great!!!! Yes, there made be some drama now, but that too shall pass. If OW was renting a place from MIL, the drama would be much longer lived. So, things may may shaken up a bit for now, but I think its for the better. You would have had many more sessions of drama if OW had gotten that place. So I'm PROUD of you. You did great. Tough it out. MIL and H will get over it. You stood up for you and you can't beat that.
H and MIL are still not speaking and its really just getting to the point of "Ridiculous" but its not my business. We are spending time together and there are some things that are better, but so many that aren't.
He has some big issues to deal with and we'll have to see if he is willing to or not. If his past performance is any indication, the answer is a huge, resounding "NO", but that is something I will deal with as it comes and do what is best for me.
Haven't had much to post, trying to live instead of analyze so much...old habits die hard though!
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Exactly, Old habits do die hardand not just for you. Try to remember that. he has a lot of changing to do. Your old marriage is dead and now you have the chance to create a new one. Work together to see what you both want.
As you can see I am trying to be optimistic here. Make a beautiful evening.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
