Have you read the original Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?
It will help you understand her broad, sweeping negative attacks, and also help you know that when she says "never" and "always" she is not meaning them literally. You have to basically just wash right past that and not focus on those words if you want to avoid a fight.
Your reaction to want to defend yourself on each and every one of her points is a normal male reaction. Unfortunately yes, it will just lead to a fight because the way you go about tearing her words apart will make it clear to her that you didn't really "hear her point".
Just a guess and I don't know your full situation, but I think what she is really saying is that she feels you feel that your life and your schedule is more important than hers, and the fact that you feel that way pisses her off. Again, I don't know your situation, I'm just trying to help you decode the female-speak.
She doesn't want you to fold quietly, she wants you to acknoweldge that you have been acting like your schedule is more important than hers. Whether that's true or not doesn't matter, its how she FEELS about it that she is trying to tell you. When she is throwing out other examples of how she felt you put her schedule beneath hers, again she isn't arguing about what actually happened. She is trying to give you examples of other times she FELT that way....
Hope that helps, but the M/V book will help even more!
